My Three babies: Isaac, Jocelyn, and Samuel

My life has changed in a very dramatic way over the last two months; it’s had many ups and downs, with tears, and laughs along the way. I have managed to do things I never thought possible I have had to manage my personal frustrations with daily life on top of parenting my three small children. Here’s my diary as a mommy of three.

I took a break from blogging because I felt I wasn’t in a “successful” or even a positive place. I suffered from a slight case of the baby blues after I had my third baby. Since I didn’t have it with my other two pregnancies, I really did not know what was wrong with me. I would cry most of the day, and often times just couldn’t think without putting myself down in the process. I would pray to God to help me because I felt so helpless. I loved my new baby and I felt I couldn’t bond with him because I had two little ones who needed me. I also had him three weeks early (four days before the 37 gestational weeks); I had nothing prepared for his arrival. I didn’t have the chance to set up, wash his clothes, or even get his car seat ready. Everything felt so rushed and I felt like an awful mother. My heart went out to my other two kids who had to endure my short temper and frustrations. I felt like the walls were closing in on me and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

Time went on and I began to feel like myself again. We are all adjusting and getting used to one another. It’s been a difficult process and of course I still have my chaotic days but things are progressing in a good way.

I want to encourage moms through my experiences in my daily walk as a parent and although I still don’t have it all figured out, but I am working on it to the best to my ability. The baby blues is a real case of depression. There are mild and severe cases of it. If you feel this way, remember you’re not alone. This is very common among women, mostly new moms but in this case it happened to me as a third timer.

After having my third son Samuel, I wanted to come home and get right back into the groove of things. I thought, “hey I’m feeling good, let me just get everything on track” I was wrong. This has been my toughest job yet as a mom. All three of my kids are home with me all day long. It’s been exhausting and has taken me longer than I expected to get back on my feet.

Not only am I exclusively breastfeeding, I needed to find a way to give all three kids their personal attention from me. It started to get overwhelming. My kids are truly great kids they just require most of my attention (usually when I sit down to feed the baby).

My husband is always telling me to reach out for help when I need to rest. My “help” list is very limited and sometimes (like many moms) I feel I can do everything on my own. Although for the most part this is true, sometimes we need a little help or even a little break from the daily routine. He is right. It’s just not as easy as it seems. Sometimes he would tell me that I need to be a leader and take charge, and to be honest I am having a tough time doing that. I feel my kids run over me sometimes, especially my Isaac.

Right now one of the most important goals for me is getting my kids and house in order. I still feel like I am all over the place. My oldest son Isaac will be 5 in December and in my opinion is nowhere near ready for Kindergarten next year.   That topic I will save for my next post. I just want to feel confident in what I am doing as a full time stay at home mom. I also want to be happy and proud of my work. I’m still a work in progress and I believe that with the right attitude and positive thinking anything is possible.

I will continue to post updates on my facebook page so keep an eye out for that. Thanks for stopping in; let’s keep striving for mommy success!

XOXO,

Reina

Photo Courtesy of Pinterest and Google Images

Although this is not my first rodeo, I am still very nervous and scared to give birth again.  It’s not an easy thing to do, let me tell you.  It takes a lot of strength, courage, and pain to bring a child into this world.  Such a beautiful reward, but I’m still a little nervous now that there are only 8 weeks left!

Yikes!

This pregnancy went by so fast, I guess because I am so busy with the other two it went quicker.  The discomforts are now kicking in; I’m becoming more restless as each day passes, and very irritable in this last trimester.  Heartburn is not my friend and I feel very anxious.  So now the countdown begins on giving birth for the third time.  My fear and worry have been taking over these last few weeks, so I needed to focus on the positive things of bringing my new son into the world.  Here are a few things I am doing to pass the time until his arrival.

Start a baby book: I started my baby book at about 14 weeks.  I continue to add little things, photos, stickers, and little notes to my baby boy.  Both of my kids have baby books, and I always do my best to keep them updated and full of fun facts of their lives. 

            Giving birth is inevitable when you’re pregnant, but you can still enjoy the process without getting too nervous. 

Get your birth plan: I had a birth plan with both of my kids.  Which unfortunately did not work the way I wanted, well I guess it happened the way it was supposed to.  You plan for the day and go with the flow when you need to.  I have learned that the doctors are going to do what needs to be done to get the baby and you out of delivery safely.  I downloaded some templates from whattoexpect.com they are very helpful tools.  Make sure to go over all the details with your doctor so you both are on the same page. 

I also made little goodie bags for my nurses when I was pregnant with my son.  I made sure they knew I was appreciative of all their hard work and dedication to me and my baby on those day/days.  I didn’t make them when I had my daughter.  She came two and a half weeks early, so it seems I ran out of time.  I am planning on doing that again.  The nursing staff is so important during your time at the hospital.  You can find some great ideas on Pinterest.com. 

Planning your baby shower:  Some people will tell you it’s not “proper” etiquette to have a baby shower after the first baby, well I think that is NUTS! It’s not just about getting gifts; it’s about celebrating a life with the people you love most.  It’s about creating memories for your new baby’s life.  So don’t listen to anyone, go register at your favorite baby store and plan your special day.  People will be excited regardless if it’s the first or last if you are excited about it. 

            With my daughter people told me not to have the shower for her, I did it because I was happy to have been blessed with another baby and wanted to share my joy and love with my family and friends.  I have decided to make this shower smaller and more intimate; however it’s still a celebration to me!

Make your hospital check list: Start getting your things ready for the big day.  I packed a bag with a few simple things, and of course you can add on as the time draws near.  Make sure your husband is ready for the big day with his goodie bag as well. 

            Since I have two other kids, I am starting to plan who and where I will leave them once I go into labor.  Talking to family and discussing your options is so important, you want you and your kids to feel as comfortable as possible.  If your sitter can come to your house, even better! The kids are more content in their own environment. 

            The pain we endure during labor is awful! Each of my experiences was very different.  My fear has been taking over my joy, and I needed to regroup and remind myself that the pain lasts only a minute and blessings a lifetime.  I am so thrilled and looking forward to our new addition. 

            Thanks for stopping by mommies, remember to keep sharing my blog and sending your suggestions and feedback so that together we can strive for mommy success! 

Photo Courtesy of Google Images

XOXO,

REINA

My son playing soccer (4years)

I couldn’t wait for the day that my son or daughter would play sports.  I am such a huge sports fan, so I knew this would be one of the most enjoyable moments for me as their mom.   Watching them run up down a field or court is an exciting and new way for them to be encouraged. I always knew sports provided kids with a different type of discipline, from sportsmanship to teamwork, I knew no matter what it would be a positive environment for my son to grow.

My son is four and full of pure boy energy, so I knew right away he would love sports.  Figuring this I decided to sign him up for pee-wee soccer.  I figured it would be a no-brainer, he would run and kick the ball and absolutely love doing it, honestly I thought it would come natural to him.  Once he started he looked lost! He was easily distracted and totally uninterested in playing he even stopped listening to the coach.  Immediately I became so discouraged, questioning my motives for putting him a sport; “was it too soon”, “maybe he’s not quite ready”. I began making excuses for this and doubting him and myself as a parent.  This is supposed to be a fun and positive thing, so why am I so frustrated about it?

Naturally as parents we want to see our kids excel in life.  We want to see our kids grow and learn new things in the process.  So when things don’t go the way we’re planning them in our heads, we tend to throw tantrums and get frustrated.  I had to really sit back and focus on why I did I put him in sports in the first place which is….TO HAVE FUN.  My attitude could have ruined the entire experience for him, and I am glad that I readjusted it to encourage and motivate him.

So what changed? I want to give all my mommies out there a few tips on how to help your child succeed at something, rather than give up.  Giving up is the easy way out, sticking to it and practicing is definitely a key element.  So here are the benefits of sports for preschoolers along with some of cons.

My team mom duties…Snacks with an encouraging note for the kids

Before putting my son in soccer, I did a vast amount of research to help prove my point.  My husband was really skeptical on the matter and unsure if putting in him sports so soon was a good idea.  I needed something to justify my actions for signing him up.  I found a few good articles from MegMeekerMD.com about sports and preschoolers.  I thought this article provided excellent feedback on the matter, however it leaned more towards no sports (or other activities) Meeker stated it was taking away from family time that young kids need, that interaction from their parents.  While family values are very important, I think it’s important to teach your kids to be socially inclined as well.  So before you make your decision do your research to find out what works best for you and your kids.

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with anything, I’m getting to a point I promise.  Spoonful.com was a great tool for me, I found an article that showed the positive aspect of sports for kids and how it could impact their lives at a young age.

• Personal Discoveries. Sports can help kids discover what they like or dislike, It also teaches them to be team players (sharing) along with encouragement from their peers and other adults around them (The coach, other parents).
• It takes them away from the Tube.   Kids today are glued to the TV, Video games, and any other form of technology.  It’s causing them to lose interest in playing outside and being active.  I found that kids who watch too much TV lose sleep at night and are less effective in school.  Another reason to get them out of the house, to a park to run and play.
• Self-Esteem Builder.  Sports can help build confidence along with social interaction of teammates their age.

So my husband I decided to sign him and try it out.

My point to all this is that it’s supposed to be FUN for them and you.  It’s something new and you the parent are introducing them to new things, at some point as they grow they can make decisions to determine what they want to do, but this will help guide them.  It’s up to you and what you want for your child.  I must say, if you like having a busy schedule then this is for you.  It takes a lot of work to be a part of a team.  I knew all of this; I just needed my attitude to change.  He’s not going to get it right away, and two hours a week isn’t going to cut it.  I realized I needed to put in the extra time to help him succeed.  By taking him to the park to show him, I also included my husband in have to interact in the process.  It makes a world of difference when both parents are active in this process.  I always say, try it out and if you and your child don’t like it then try something else or wait until he’s ready.

Ultimately it’s important to understand how things work.  To assess your life and what you can handle.  But I do believe it’s important to try it out to make the best decision for you and your child.  This experience personally has been a great thing for our family.  It allows us to stay on track with schedules and keeps us on our toes during the week.  My son is learning to love it and now asks to go to practice.  It’s been three weeks so far and I think that he will grow to enjoy it, and if he doesn’t; that’s OK too.  At least we tried and did it together. 

Thanks for stopping by mommies; I hope this post encouraged you if you are struggling with this specific area of sports and other activities outside of school.  Remember to share my blog with other mommies out there so together we can strive for mommy success!

My Pregnancy announcement picture. I was 3 months here. My journey not easy, but all worth it.

          Let’s face it, if you’re like me this isn’t your first rodeo.  You’ve done this before (twice to be exact) and now you know and understand a thing or two.  That doesn’t mean there aren’t hiccups along the way, it’s very difficult to manage your time and ability to do your normal activities; especially with two young kids running around all day (son is 4 and daughter is 20 months). It’s been a roller-coaster ride of emotional breakdowns, tears, and lots of frustration.  To top it off the baby isn’t even here yet! Yikes! I’m scared….I have 14 weeks left and I am really feeling unsure of myself and my capabilities as a mom.  My son is regressing in many ways and some of his old (Terrible two) behavior is returning and sometimes it’s a little too much for me to handle.  Still Feeling the regular aches, pains, and discomforts doesn’t describe this pregnancy at all.  Sometimes I feel totally disconnected, because I am so overwhelmed with everything else. 

            So how do I handle it all? I don’t have super powers and am a completely normal mother who breaks down most times.  Since I have done this before I know that these breakdowns and stress affect my little one growing inside of me.  If you’re going through or have gone through this, you probably understand perfectly.  I really had to sit back and ask myself a few questions, to help me understand the type of mother I want to be and the type of kids I want to have.  Sounds simple, right? Wrong! It was really hard, we are naturally so tough on ourselves and have to deal with so many daily things and making these decisions should come beforehand, and in most cases they do…but things change once that baby comes out. 

            In this post I just really wanted to share my personal experiences with you all, the questions I asked myself and how I am coping today with pregnancy the third time around and my evaluations as a mom.

Question #1: What are my hopes and dreams as a mom?

            We all have dreams of being the perfect mom, and I have found in my four years of being home and a mother to a very ambitions and energetic child that it’s impossible to be perfect.  There’s no such thing.  We do our best and commit the rest.  I have learned from this pregnancy that I cannot do it all.  Sometimes the house will be a mess and the so will the kids.  We still need rest and we tend to overdo it, at least I know I do.

             I hope that my kids one day will appreciate all I do for them, because I do a lot and I do it genuinely with all my heart.  All I ask from them is to respect me and their father.  They will only do that by watching us, I know that I have said it before that kids practice what they see and I still and will always believe it.  I only hope to teach my children to exercise their faith and use their energy for the greater good.  Sometimes when I feel I am failing my children, my son or daughter will do something amazing and it makes everything all worth it.  I don’t want to be perfect, I want to do my best.  I want to show my kids my unconditional love while teaching them discipline along the way. 

My daughter Jocelyn and I.

Question #2: Do I really need a strict schedule to plan my days?

            I am a big fan of schedules as many of you know from my previous posts.  I love scheduling and keeping as organized as possible and I have found first hand that it doesn’t work correctly without consistency.  Being at home is very monotonous and doing the same thing day in and day out is exhausting.  There are things I stick to which is bedtimes, meal times, and nap times (for my daughter because my son no longer naps).  This is important for our kids because it helps them behaviorally in many ways, from my experience.  Lack of sleep or nutritious foods can reflect in their behavior at home or school.  With busy kids the schedules won’t be perfect or always the same.  Sometimes we need to relax and just have fun and step away from chores, and the daily stuff.  I try to remind myself of this because I get so wrapped up in cleaning and organizing from fear of falling behind.  Ultimately it’s OK if you do, right now my goal is to enjoy this time with my kids as much as possible for the new addition arrives.  Sometimes taking a day off helps you in the rest of your week.  I have friends sometimes ask me, “If you’re a stay at home mom, why aren’t you ever home”? And honestly it’s because life is too short to be in the house all the time.  I like to take time off and away from home to be with my kids and watch them enjoy their youth and childhood.  So basically I feel schedules are super important, however they are not crucial to a successful day, sometimes we need a break in routine. 

Question #3: What are my aspirations of being at home, what do I wish to accomplish?

            I always envisioned myself a stay at home mom, and thanks to God that I was blessed to have this position.  When my son started acting out and regressing in a very aggressive way, I knew it had to be something I was (or wasn’t) doing for him to behave this way.  I had to be honest and really reflect on my own behavior and mannerisms here at home.  How do I react when he spills juice on my freshly clean floors? Sometimes I freak out and even yell at him.  If we as adults do this, I can only imagine how toddlers/preschoolers feel with their complete inabilities to communicate.

             I used to think…My goal is to have a clean house and well behaved kids at least the first time around.  That started to change quickly when I had my second child.  Although I like my house clean and organized I knew that I didn’t want to be a clean freak mom who cleaned all day.  I want to take time to read and teach my children, to help them think about things and watch them grow.  I really want to focus on their abilities to learn and how gifted they both are in different ways.  It’s fun and amazing to watch them figure things out and I want to be there to help them. 

            Not having my biological mother around really helped me to understand the kind of mother and woman I aspire to be.  I used that as an example and reminder that I can be better daily.  Education is super important to me, and it holds a very special place in my heart.  I know that I am not a licensed educator, but I am educating my kids and feel I am doing what I am supposed to.  Can my children and I improve? Of course there’s always room for improvement and I am always looking for ways to make education fun for them.  Just like I want to be an encouragement to all of you mommies, I also want to do the same for my kids.

My son Isaac and I

Question #4: How can I continue to be a better mother?

            By educating myself and using my experience as well as others’ as an example.  I am constantly looking for ways to learn, by reading and researching different things.  I love to hear other moms’ stories/journeys.  My faith and relationship with God is a huge part of my life, without it/Him I am lost.  I dedicate time in the morning for devotionals and bible time to help me get through my day, it’s what works for me.  It encourages me to have a productive day along with realizing I cannot do it all and to take things one step at time.  When my kids are playing outside, I’ll sit down and watch them play while I read a book. 

            I read different parenting books along with books on success.  One thing I want my kids to see is me reading books.  I want to continue my personal education without being in a classroom.  Although I do plan to go back to school to continue my conventional education, right now it’s not in the cards for me and I have accepted that.  My role right now is to focus on my kids and parenting. 

            Being a mom is the toughest job I have ever had in my life! It’s a different type of work, that never ends and is full of rewards.  I have had many struggles as a mom but I think that is what makes us stronger for our kids.  Personally, these questions were a real eye opener for me.  I needed to reevaluate my goals as a mom, I decided to do this once I became pregnant with my third baby.

             Each time I learn something new, with my first I knew nothing and was overwhelmed with love and exhaustion.  The second taught me more patience than I knew I had, although I was exhausted I was also more aware of how to be a mom and what to expect.  I only hope to continue to learn with the next one.  God has a plan for me and my family, although initially I did not understand it, I know now that this is going to complete the family and journey and maybe; who knows another addition along the way.

            If you are going through something similar, I hope that you can ask yourself questions.  Be completely open and honest with yourself, that really helps us grow in so many ways.  Just always remember that we’re doing the best we can and we are not perfect.  I hope this post helps you like it helped me. 🙂

            Thanks for stopping by keep sharing my blog and stories so we can help mommies strive for success!

XOXO,

Reina

Going back to work
Photo courtesy of Foundrysportsmedicine.com and google images

       Lately it’s dawned on me that I have been out of the workplace since July 2009, I can’t believe it’s been that long.   I would be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes think about going back to work, especially after I finished college.  I feel this strong urge to go back to work and have more independence like I did once upon a time.  Now with two little ones (and one on the way) it seems that possibility is becoming more unlikely. 

            Don’t get me wrong, being a full time stay at home mom is just that: Full Time.  However it would be nice to get dressed for a purpose every day, to do something I love and am passionate about, and ultimately bring home a little extra bacon.  I don’t want to waste my potential, but right now mommy hood is my calling.  I have heard so many times, “putting all your energy and time into your kids is not always the best thing for you or them” maybe that is true to a point, and  now I am looking at things a little differently especially as I enter another decade of life (30 years old in May, Yikes). 

            Going back to work is a tough choice to make as a mom.  We tend to be tough on ourselves and feel guilty for leaving our kids at home or daycare.  Either way it’s a very difficult decision to make. I started to feel invaluable being a stay at home mom especially when people ask me what I do.  I’m educated and have the option to go back but I chose to be here with my kids.  So when is the best time to go back? That is something personal and completely up to you.  Everyone has their own reasons and for me I had to consider many factors and even though I was contemplating going back, I came back to my original decision to stay home.

            Personally it would be a huge stretch financially which was one of the main reasons we decided on me staying home. With the cost of childcare alone not for one child but three, would be outrageous. I looked into a local daycare and for infant care alone it was $600 a month that did not include my other kids.  My husband and I feel very strongly about me raising our kids.  He is at work and very active in parenting our kids, however it does mostly fall on me because I am home.  I can list all the pros and cons of staying home and going to work, but it will take me days to finish and really that’s not what this post is all about.  This post is about self reflection and understanding what you want and being content in that situation.  Sometimes we go to jobs we hate and bosses we despise, but we do what we have to.  Staying home is very similar, we make the conscious decision to stay home because sometimes we have to. 

            The most important thing I realized after my personal evaluation is to love what you do.  My job is being home. I’m a mom, who loves her kids I work hard to teach them and raise them to be independent little people.  I like to look at myself as the VP of Operations of my own home.  Rather than focusing on what I do not have (a job outside of the home) I started to realize all that I do have and how truly blessed I am.  It’s difficult to make these decisions and sometimes you have to put your career on the back burner for the family.  It may not always be this way, your kids will grow and eventually need you less. 

            I have found that you do become a little “outdated” and it’s super important to keep up with things relevant around you.  Getting out and being at work keeps you current.  Continue educating yourself, we are so blessed in this era to have the internet at the palm of our hands.  Read, go back to school, do something positive for you to feel happy and ultimately to stay current.  It’s not easy with busy little bees at home, but if it was then everyone would and could do it. 

            If you are wondering what your purpose is in life just remember that you hold the key to your future and success.  You cannot be led by others ideas of what you should or should not be doing.  Just remember that you are not alone.  Be happy with what you have and what you’re doing everything in life is temporary.  I hope that this post helps some of my mommies (stay at home) or working.  It’s tough to do both and my hat goes off to all the mommies in general, we do so much with very little recognition.  Live life and enjoy every second of it.

            Thanks for stopping by mommies, remember to keep sharing my posts and blog so that together we can strive for mommy success!

XOXO,

Reina

photo courtesy of ABCNews.com

Whether you’re a stay-at-home or working mom, it doesn’t matter these duties and tasks never end.  They seem to constantly pile up on me and I can’t catch a breath.  I end up frustrated because I cannot concentrate when my house is a disaster.  Both of my kids are under five years old and still we have busy schedules.  I can only imagine what will happen when they are in activities and sports.  My goal for this blog and my life in general is to stay positive and to remind myself and other mommies out there that we are not perfect.  There will be days when the house is a mess, when the kids are full of dirt, and your still in pajamas at 3 in the afternoon.  This sometimes happens especially as a full time stay-at-home-mom. 

            The mommy duties that never end are constant which requires most of your time.  I use schedules and charts to help monitor my chores around the house. One thing I have a hard time managing is my LAUNDRY.  I cannot keep up.  So although my laundry is always overflowing, Some of the tools I have used at home have helped me. 

1. White Board Schedule

            I have a magnetic rectangular white board that I have on my refrigerator.  I love this scheduling tool, it helps me manage my days and since it’s dry erase I can change it up every few weeks to eliminate some of the monotony of being at home. I bought this at Target for 10 bucks, but you can purchase any type of calendar it doesn’t have to be dry erase, this is what has worked for me.  Although This has helped me,  consistency is key.  Let’s face it, consistency is probably one of the hardest things to do.  I can tell you that it works for sure if you can maintain it.  It also helps me with my son and keeping track of what he needs to do around the house and for school.

2.  Set weekly and monthly chores

            I like to do this because it helps me to maintain my house as much as possible.  Two things I love to have but hate doing is…Cleaning the fridge, and washing the sheets.  I love to have them clean but I hate doing it.  I change my sheets once a week and clean my refridgerator once a month.  I wash all the sheets at once so when I’m ready to switch them, they are already clean. 

3. Simplify your cleaning process

            My husband says that I need to attend counseling for using too much lysol and febreze.  LOL! It’s so true.  I love the lysol products, the spray and the wipes they help disinfect my house, without me having to deep clean every day.  It also helps because we have a puppy (14 weeks old) and it maintains the puppy smells around the house.  I also use them for toys and bathrooms. 

4.  Family Chores

            Get your children involved in this process.  My kids usually know that it’s cleaning time once the music goes on.  I put the children’s music on and it really motivates them.  I have them do simple things like pick up their toys and put their dishes in the sink.  It’s really helpful for me and teaches them responsibility.  After they finish we do “high fives” and Stickers for a fun reward. 

            These simple things I do around my house really have helped me in the last four years of being a stay-at- home-mom.  There are days when I fall behind because I don’t want to spend my entire day cleaning.  I have to get the kids out.  We do walks daily and parks twice a week when the weather permits.  It’s such a challenging job and at the end of the day I’m exhausted. 

            I hope that some of these tips will help you to maintain your house and sanity.  It’s a great way for me to stay positive without stressing out about the mess. 

            Thanks for stopping by and remember to keep sharing my blog so that together we can strive for mommy success!

Photo Courtesy of Google images

XOXO,

Reina

The Aggressive Preschooler
Photo Courtesy of quickanddirtytips.com via google images

   One of the worst feelings as a parent is when your child is aggressive and hits one of his peers.  It’s something that happens, but can be controlled.  My son is progressing academically, but he is having a difficult time expressing his emotions and acts out by hitting when things do not go his way.  Automatically we as parents start to think the worse, and we….GOOGLE! Yep I said it, sometimes the internet can be a scary place because it often gives you the worse cast scenario.  It’s hard as a parent to think your child is the “problem Child” in class.  So rather than moping around and complaining about how awful this situation is, I tried to turn it into a positive and evaluate the problem at hand.  I began to ask myself a few questions; What can I do different to help him? How can I motivate him to share?

            So after the teacher spoke with me about this issue, I went home and immediately started making changes.  So far these things have helped me and he is becoming less aggressive and frustrated.  Here are some tips on Managing an aggressive preschooler. 

1. Use your words

            Communication is always key.  In my previous blog posts I have mentioned that just because your kids are little doesn’t mean they do not understand you.  They do! My son is starting to learn to communicate more effectively and we are using his baby sister as the guinea pig.  The first person he doesn’t want to share with and hits is her.  I started teaching him, “I am playing with this sister, here’s another car let’s play together” It seems to be working and he is hitting and pushing less often.  I am also working with him, if you have two cars you can let your sister (or friends) play with one too.  I understand his frustration because sometimes he just wants to play on his own, but in a classroom setting it’s really hard and they have to learn to deal with that.

2.  Monitor play time

            I fall victim of this constantly.  Sometimes I let them play while I do the dishes and other chores and I check on them periodically.  Since he has been really rough with his classmates and sister I have been sitting in on their playtime together.  Making sure they share, I’m basically reinforcing it.  I remind him to take turns and to wait his turn.  They actually both like this because I am in there with them playing, they don’t realize I’m teaching them something as well. 

3. Read books about emotions and hitting

Great book for preschoolers!

            Scholastic has some great books about these specific topics.  I bought a pack of four books: Don’t Push, Don’t Yell, Don’t Hit, and Don’t Bite.  All things I believe toddlers and preschoolers suffer from.  I always try and make story time as interactive as possible, asking him questions about the story, what he likes, and what the pictures say.  For example, “does hitting make him happy or sad” He will respond with saying, “sad”.  Great tools for helping them understand their own emotions when someone hits or pushes them. 

4. Positive reinforcements

            I think I always talk about this, because It truly works.  Kids don’t respond well to negativity, they need those positive words to get them going and to keep them going.  Words like, Good Job! Well Done! You’re Awesome! I usually give him a sticker when I see his good behavior, there’s something about stickers that kids absolutely adore.  At the end of the week, we celebrate his good behavior with a special outing or treat.  He looks forward to this so he tries to be on his best behavior.

5. Ask for help or advice

            We don’t always have all the answers and that’s Ok.  It’s important to talk to someone a teacher, a friend, or fellow mom about this issue and maybe their advice can help you. My son’s teacher really helped me when this happened, she also recommended that I stay in class with him at least once a week to monitor and reinforce his behavior.  It’s a team effort, always make sure to discuss things with your husband/partner so that you both are on the same page.  Dad’s input and help can really encourage your child in so many ways. 

6.  Make sure your child gets enough rest

            At a certain age your child takes less naps during the day.  My now four year old struggles with nap time.  I have to force it, but it’s important for them to get enough rest to help them focus as well.  If they become overly exhausted then they start to act out this could be the reason behind the behavioral problems.  According to WebMD:

            3-6 Years Old: 10 – 12 hours per day

            Children at this age typically go to bed between 7 and 9 p.m. and wake up around 6 and 8   a.m., just as they did when they were younger. At 3, most children are still napping, while   at 5, most are not. Naps gradually become shorter as well. New sleep problems do not       usually develop after 3 years of age.

7. Turn a sticky situation into a positive one

            Kids can sense when they are doing something wrong from your attitude and tone.  My son is a very visual learner.  He enjoys music, dance, and instruments to help him learn.  I try to make up songs to encourage sharing and the positive behavior.  He loves this.  If they see you handling this situation as a task they may react differently towards it and could possibly regress.  In the beginning when I knew he was a little rough, I would get frustrated and impatient with teaching him which obviously caused him to become more physical with other kids. 

            It’s really hard to stick to your guns with your kids.  Keeping a positive attitude and remaining calm is not easy.  Just remember this isn’t easy for them either, they are struggling and need our guidance to help them.  It’s nice to see my son getting along with other kids and sharing and it’s our job to set the example. 

            I really hope that some of these tips are helpful to you.  It’s been really difficult working with my little one, especially now because my daughter is starting to pick up a few of my son’s habits.  Now my goal is directing them towards the right path. 

            Share some of your mommy stories here by leaving me your feedback! Remember I always respond and look forward to hearing your thoughts on the topic.  Together we can continue to strive for mommy success! 🙂

 http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children

XOXO,

Reina

Dealing with separation anxiety can be tough. Check out a few tips to help you through it.

Every mom has to endure leaving her child at some point.  It’s a hard thing to deal with; from leaving them for a long period of time to constantly worrying about them, and wondering if they are bawling out of control.  I believe all of these feelings are completely normal when leaving your little one(s) behind.  However, taking a break or enjoying some R&R is definitely necessary to keep you sanity, but there are also other circumstances out of your control which will require you to leave your baby with a sitter or family member for the night or maybe longer.

            I left my son for the first time with really good friends of mine and my husbands’ when He was about 18 months old.  Initially when I walked out the door I could hear him crying, which made me feel worse for leaving him.  However, since he was born my husband and I had very little time for ourselves as a married couple, actually newlyweds because we had just married a few months before.  You need to make sure that you are comfortable with whom you are leaving your child(ren).  It’s important to feel secure in this type of situation, which is why I was able to leave him in the first place. 

            Since then I have not really left him other than for more than a few hours at a time However once I received news I was pregnant with my daughter I did have to leave him overnight.  This was hard because my son was only 2 and half when my daughter was born, it was a very difficult adjustment for me emotionally.  However, he was secure in the comfort of our own home which was perfect. 

            One thing I tried  to keep in mind is that no one will take care of my kids like I do.  I’m their mommy and I know what’s best for them.  When we leave them it’s important for us to have a clear mindset without feeling guilty.   I thought I’d share a few tips to handle separation anxiety without stressing out.

Gradually introduce your child to different environments and surroundings

            As a stay-at-home-mom, my son became so attached to me that it was a little ridiculous! LOL! I couldn’t even leave the room sometimes, forget leaving him with someone else.  Honestly the only person he did would stay with was my husband.  The first thing I started to do is dropping him off at the nursery in our church.  Although He cried of course I tried to introduce him to the teachers and surroundings by staying in the class with him a few times before leaving him on his own.  The teachers started to get to know him and vice versa that he just got used to the idea.  He even started to like it! The best thing about this is I felt safe and secure that my child was being cared for. 

Leave your guilty conscious behind

            We feel our children are going to hate us when we leave them, “why on earth did those horrible people leave me!!”  Well although that thought probably does cross their minds, it passes and they get over it.  When my son was little after his feeding, changing, and play time sometimes he would just be cranky.  I decided that I did not want him attached to my arms all the time.  So I would put him in his swing or crib and let him cry it out for a few minutes.  It hurt at first, but then it would pass and he would self soothe.  So leaving him with someone other than my husband or myself was difficult but sometimes it needed to be done.   

            One thing I always try to remember when I feel guilty or bad for leaving them, is that I need time alone or time with my husband.  My marriage is one of the most sacred and important things to me.  I feel lost without my partner.  Don’t get me wrong I love my kids, but it’s also super important to make time for both.  I think with a new baby it’s easy for your husband to feel neglected and distant so making time for them is truly necessary.  Just remember once you return to pick them up They will be so happy to see you and it will make it all worth it.

What to pack

            I tried to pack some of my son’s environment with him.  For example, I placed some of this favorite things in a backpack or diaper bag whichever you prefer.  This can be a stuffed animal, toy, bottle (pacifier), or DVD movie.  Basically anything to make your child’s stay a home away from home.  Always make sure to pack enough clothes, diapers, wipes, and additional things your child uses.  Be sure to include any medications this includes tylonol or motrin in case of fever, along with teething tablets just in case.  One of the most important things is the insurance information.  Always leave behind his insurance card and any other important documents. 

            These are just a few tips I have taken in the past with my own children.  Introducing your child to new people and surroundings is so important which is why it’s at the top of the list.  This helps them socially as well, something I had to learn later on which really affected my son.  If you have a family member, friend, or just someone you trust in general it definitely will put you at ease during the process.  I recently seen an ad called nanny finder.  I don’t know how comfortable I would feel using this type of site, especially for my children.  However, I am sure there are some people who find it useful.  I think that trust is the most important factor, at least it was for me. 

            I really hope that some of these tips are helpful to you if you are struggling with this issue.  With my son everything was so new to me, I was afraid to take a shower with the baby monitor on in case that I didn’t hear him, So I would take him the bathroom with me LOL! It was tough not knowing what to expect or being overly cautious.  I learned as time progressed and eventually as I had my second child.  I became laid back and was able to enjoy the process of leaving them behind.  But It takes time and ultimately you always think of them and wonder if they are safe and secure. 

            Thanks for stopping by! Keep sharing my blog with other mommies out there, so together we can strive for mommy success!  Remember I love feedback and comments so feel free to leave me as many as you see fit!

XOXO,

Reina

          Cold and Flu season is definitely here, and if you’re pregnant (Like me 🙂 Then you want to make sure that you are taking safe medications for you and baby.  As pregnant women, we have the immune system of a newborn/infant child.  We are very susceptible to the germs and illnesses floating around.  During my second pregnancy and this one I would always end up congested  and it would drive me insane! I’m not a total organic/natural type of girl, but there are some great natural ways to heal your sickness. 

            So in today’s blog post I want to provide a list of safe medications for the common cold during pregnancy.  Keep in mind I have practiced these remedies myself on all three of my pregnancies.  My first pregnancy was a little different, because as most of you know with your first you do not know what to expect.  My second, was easier and my third is a breeze (so far, fingers crossed). Illness for me came with my second and third, not with my first.  So this time around I knew exactly how to handle it and what to do.

Cough, cough, and more coughs

For some reason I always buy generic medicine! LOL! This CVS brand Tussin is the best!

What to do: For coughing I always took Tussin (alcohol free).  Although this is not a very strong medication, it helps soothe you in the process so you don’t cough out your baby. LOL.  If you don’t feel comfortable buying something over the counter, I recommend discussing this with your primary physician so they can prescribe something.  However, this is pretty safe and you can take it every four to six hours. 

Stuffy nose 

This nasal spray is super gentle and easy to use. I love this one!

What to do: Feeling stuffed up during your pregnancy feels awful.  It’s bad enough that you may be having trouble sleeping, being stuffed up definitely doesn’t help.  I always used a saline nasal spray along with vapor rub really helped me sleep at night.  For some reason I am always stuffed up at night! You can also use the humidifier (cool air is best, but if you have warm it should work fine as well).  I normally place it directly towards me and it helps clear me up. 

Sore throat and Congestion

This is the brand of Chamomile tea I use. It has a great taste and is caffeine free!

What to do:  I usually get a sore throat from coughing and coughing my throat gets so dry that it starts to hurt.  I drink lots of tea with lemon and honey.  They have so many different varieties of tea and most of them you can find decaffeinated which is great.  I used chamomile or Lipton green tea.  It would really help soothe my pain and irritation a more natural way.  Rather than using sugar, I use a little honey and lemon for added flavor. 

            So that’s just a few symptoms I have experienced during my pregnancies.  I always recommend talking to your doctor about any concerns or symptoms your unsure of.  Usually they recommend more natural ways, especially if you have a midwife or Doula.  

            It can be difficult to enjoy your pregnancy when you’re sick more often than you’d like to be. Just try and get as much rest as possible, which I know is hard when you have other little ones at home.  Here are a few more tips that I tryto do when I’m sick.

1.         When they nap…You should nap too.  My four year old doesn’t nap as often as I’d like which makes it very difficult to rest when you’re feeling awful. 

2.         Another thing that really helps you feel better (don’t laugh) is sunshine.  Sounds totally corny I know, but it works.  Take a little walk around the block and get some fresh air and you will feel better.

3.         Disinfect your house.  Once you’re feeling better make sure to wash your sheets, clean the bathrooms and spray lysol on toys and furniture.  This always helps to prevent your cooties from spreading. 

            I hope that if you’re pregnant and reading this post that you find it useful.  Share your feedback with me below.  I look forward to hearing from some of you out there.   Thanks for stopping by and remember to share my blog with other mommies out there so together we can strive for success!

XOXO,

Reina