Someone recently asked me: “what is your parenting style”? I really didn’t know how to answer that question, I didn’t realize that there was an actual “style” on how to parent your children? I’ve always taken bits and pieces of things I like and sometimes dislike and put them all together.  Maybe that’s wrong? Well I think your style depends on you; what do you like, what do your kids like, and what works best.  So I did a little research on the topic to find out some of the more popular and conventional styles out there. 

            We’ve all heard of detachment and attachment parenting which are basic parenting styles, For more on these styles check out this link: http://prezi.com/1rgi-pwurf-v/the-effects-of-attachment-parenting-compared-to-detachment-parenting-on-children/  However According to Child Development Daily via About.com these styles go a little deeper than we thought and our style is psychological. It can go back to the ways we were raised, basically whatever we do directly affect our kids.  Every now and again it’s important to evaluate ourselves as parents to decide what type of child we want to raise and ultimately what type of parent we want to be.  It’s hard because there’s no guarantee, these are just guidelines for us parents.  We will make mistakes and hopefully correct them along the way. 

            Here are the four classic styles of parenting I am going to give a brief description of each one in my own terminology. 

The Authoritarian Parent

            This parent instills a lot of strict rules and guidelines for their children.  So I imagine that each child has a massive amount of chores and if they do not complete them on time they are punished for it.  While I do strongly agree with parents giving their children chores, I also think there are boundaries to it as well.  They are not slaves, they still are kids.  According to About.com, these kids grow up to be very obedient and however are lacking expression in social competence and self esteem and may not be as “happy”. 

The Authoritative Parent

            Although the Authoritative parent instills rules and guidelines for their kids, they also are very engaged in conversation and communication with their children.  They are open to discussion and according to About.com, they are more nurturing and forgiving rather than having a strict punishment.  I really like this style of parenting, because you get the best of both worlds.  You are teaching your child independence and responsibility however emphasizing the importance of communication.  I have noticed a really big difference in my son and even my one and a half year old daughter how they respond when I communicate to them, rather than just punish (example would be to place them in time out without an explanation).  They won’t understand what they did wrong. Another thing I like is forgiveness.  My faith teaches me to be forgiving, and when your kids do something “bad” you need to reprimand them and then get over it.  It’s not ideal (in my opinion) to keep bringing it up, especially to little ones who do not quite understand it.  Communication is key in any relationship and that includes parenting. 

The Permissive parent

            Ahh the Permissive parent, they are very lenient according to the site this parent takes on more of a friend role than a parent.  I think we need to respect our kids and ultimately they need to respect us.  I try to think back to when I was a kid and even as a teen what I would have liked from my own parents, or what I did not like and I try to take that into my own parenting style.  I don’t agree with the idea of being your child’s friend (I know I’m getting lots of mean mugs for this) But I think that only confuses the kid.  Are you mom or BFF? They confuse the relationship and they don’t know how to respond to you because they are unsure of your role (just my opinion, don’t shoot me LOL). So how does this affect your child? They tend to perform poorly in school and experience problems with authority.   

Uninvolved Parenting

            This is basically a parent who lets their child raise themselves. They are very uninvolved or emotionally inclined to their children.  Sometimes they even reject or step away from the needs of their child…Need I say more? These kids grow up with very low self esteem and are less competent than their peers (About.com).   

            I really wanted to post about this topic because I don’t think you need to be in a specific category of parenting.  If you are anything like me, you understand that you are an imperfect parent and you will do what works best for you and your circumstances.  Regardless of what style you lean towards, parenting is HARD!! You have kids with different personalities and ideas and you have to keep up with them along with educating and entertaining their minds.  It’s TOUGH and never ending. 

            You can follow all the rules and styles you want, at the end of the day everything depends on you and your child.  I read all the books with my first born, I followed the “rules” to parenting and things took a turn when he started to grow. 

            Do your best and commit the rest that’s all you can do as a parent.  You can adapt these styles if it’s your plan, but sometimes things don’t go according to plan.  Just be the best YOU that you can be.  I think that in the end that’s what you want to be able to tell your kids, they will love and appreciate you for your imperfections. 

            You can decide which type of parent you are or wish to be by reading more at: http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm  I found it very resourceful and there are additional links at the bottom of the page. 

            Thanks for stopping by mommies, you can comment and leave me your thoughts and feedback below.  Be sure to share my blog with other mommies out there, so that together we can strive for mommy success!

XOXO,

Reina

Photo Courtesy of Google Images and madieracityschools.org

              I have too many posts on baby’s and their milestones, and sometimes I forget to post about the advanced toddler or what many professionals call them “preschoolers”.  In my opinion this has been a great stage in my parenting life.  I have enjoyed watching my now four year old son grow and learn.  He’s slowly growing out of the tantrum and terrible two stages and I’m lovin’ it! It’s amazing watching his face light up when he learns something new, it’s fun, exciting, and a proud moment for me as his mom. 

            So what kind of milestones am I talking about? Well in previous posts, I have talked about preschool writing and the expectations teachers have for these little  ones at the age of three.  It’s really intimidating as a parent, because you start asking yourself questions like: Is my child behind? Am I doing my job at home by teaching him? Is this going to become a problem in the future?  And the list goes on…Trust me I know how hard we are on ourselves, especially as moms.  So if it’s intimidating for us as parents, just imagine how your child feels…in a new environment expected to understand the world.  It’s pretty scary.

            So If you’re parent of a preschooler or advanced toddler, this will be beneficial information for you.  Remember all this information is coming directly from my personal experiences with my own children.  I have been learning so much about my son and myself in this process.    So here’s my tips and advice for A Day in the Life of a Preschooler.

The Preschooler and Communication:

            My son took a very long time to communicate and converse with me.  He didn’t always answer me when I asked him questions, he wouldn’t respond “Yes” or “No” and of course I worried because other kids his age were doing this well.  Recently my son has made some vast improvements in this area.  It’s amazing how it happened, and actually a lot of it comes from how you communicate with them. 

            What does that mean? For example, if you baby talk to them for so long, they will babble.  I had this problem because I thought, “he doesn’t understand me” Wrong. They do understand and they communicate in many different ways.  So As my son started to develop and grow I began talking to him like a person, not a baby.  This helped him.  He started following directions and responding to me in full sentences. 

            It was such a great moment for me, because it made me realize that he got it on his own time.  There’s no schedule, he just picked it up.  They aren’t robots they are kids, and they grow and advance at different stages.  It’s Ok if yours isn’t there yet. 

My son traced his name, and at the bottom you can see that tried to write on his own! 🙂 Two thumbs up!!

The Preschooler and Writing:

            Writing? WHAT? As a preschooler? Yes! Many preschoolers learn how to write starting at the age three.  I never knew this, because my son did not attend a formal preschool setting at three years old.  He was home with me and I was teaching him accordingly (At least I thought).  I didn’t think they had to know how to write their names, or letters at three.  My son actually struggled with the alphabet.  He’s still learning how to sound out (we use the phonics system in this house) and recognize letters.  It’s taking him time and I am working with him in a slower pace so he can grasp it. 

            He has reached a major milestone in my opinion.  He’s now tracing his name (first and last) and pretty much anything he sees.  The missing link in this process was the technique.  He wasn’t sure what hand to use, or how to hold the pencil, and now he’s on his way to writing success!

            I knew I needed some help in this area so I reached out and started him in preschool classes through our city community center.  These classes have helped him tremendously.  The teacher and teacher’s aide are amazing, there’s only about 11 kids in the class so my son still receives that one on one attention that he’s used to.  She gave me some great tips and tools to help him and I was working with him here at home.  He is doing great and I am so proud of him.

The Preschooler in Social situations:

            Being a stay at home mom/stay at home kid can be tough when you get to social situations.  How your child interacts with other kids is very important for his development.  I used to think, “well all he needs is his mommy” while this is true in some cases, he also needs to be around other kids in a social environment. 

            We would do parks, and of course we do church, and he has cousins his age.  However, school has helped me and him step out of our shell and be social.  Although he has some trouble sitting still, sharing, and sometimes hitting  the great thing is, he’s learning and his peers are getting to know him.  

The Preschooler and POTTY TRAINING:

            UGH! Probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to do as a parent, is Potty train! My son was very difficult and it took him a long time to understand the concept.  I tried charts, stickers, graphs, and cold turkey and none of these things really helped him.  Part of it was my consistency, it was easier to put on a pull up instead of having him go in the potty.  I know, I know, many of you are thinking well he’s four?? He is now four and totally POTTY TRAINED!! He was terrified of the toilet and one day (thanks to my husband) he just started going.  He will even go in public places.  We’re still working on number two, but he does that in his training toilet.  This was a huge milestone for him.  He/we struggled for so long and he just one day got it.  I was so thrilled and excited for him because it’s a really huge accomplishment. 

            If your child is struggling, try the tips I’ve provided on my previous blog about potty training.  Although they helped me in the process, he ultimately got it when the time was right for him.  This will happen for your child as well.  Pushing them too hard can sometimes cause them to regress and completely turn away from toilet training altogether.  Take breaks in between and make it fun and exciting to the best of your ability.  I had a “Potty Party” for my son when he trained completely.  Stuff like that makes them want to continue to succeed. 

            Another thing to remember is that sometimes these milestones are met all at once.  My son starting advancing in most of these areas within the same month.  Sometimes we’re ready for them to move on to the next stage, but they may not be quite yet and we have to be understanding towards them because they sense our every emotion. 

            As moms we need to get creative and think outside of the box when it comes to our kids.  Sometimes the conventional way will work, while other kids learn in unconventional ways and that’s OK.  I have battled in these areas with my son, however I took the advice from his teachers and even other moms and he has made tremendous progress. 

            Like I always say, every kid is different and so is every stage of their life.  It’s an ongoing learning process for the entire family.  Working with them daily along with taking breaks and moving at a decent pace helps them, believe it or not.  I have noticed that in most cases my son regressed from many of his milestones because of me.  My attitude was not always in the right place and sometimes I would get frustrated and he would see that and give up on himself.  Like I said it’s a learning process and you learn and grow from your mistakes.  I’m learning that you will make them as your journey through parenthood continues. 

            Thanks for stopping by and remember that these tips are advice from a real mom just like you! Keep sharing my blog so that together we can strive for mommy success! 🙂

XOXO,

Reina

Photo courtesy of Google images

   HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I cannot believe it’s already 2014! Where on earth did the time go?? It went by too fast if you ask me, but I am looking forward to this New Year.  It’s a New Year full of opportunities and….RESOLUTIONS!! Yep, I said the “R” word. 

            First thing’s first, Let’s define what a resolution is, shall we? According the Merriam Webster Dictionary a Resolution is; the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc. : the act of resolving something. So let’s not complicate things (I know mommies, we sometimes are guilty of that, LOL).  It’s the basic principle of resolving something in your life, and it could be anything. 

            Before I decided to write a post on this topic I had to do some serious soul searching in the process.  It wasn’t easy.  I had to sit back and reflect on my year, what did I do right, wrong, what can I do better, etcetera.  Naturally I think as moms and women we are very tough on ourselves, at least I know that I am.  However, when making resolutions it’s a good thing.  So check out five tips for setting goals that stick in 2014!

1. Set different categories for your goals

            When I realized I needed to put goal setting into perspective it really made me think outside the box.  Let me give you a few examples of this; personal, home, hobby, family, spiritual, fitness, and the list can go on depending on the person.  These were a few that came to my mind immediately when I set my own goals.  These are some of the areas I can improve on, so it’s a personal choice depending on you and your goals. 

2.  Set deadlines

            Every year I say: “I want to lose weight” This is a great goal, and I honestly have never stuck to it.  How do you lose weight? Well you can start by eating right and making healthier choices (Something I always fail to do, which I why I am telling you all this).  So start there and set a deadline I am going to give up soda for one month, then once the month is up, give it up for another month, and so on.  Does this make sense?

3.  Be realistic with yourself and your goals. 

            I am a realist, however I sometimes live in a fantasy world too.  This year I tried to create goals that I can actually achieve.  I know that you are thinking you can do anything you put your mind to, and yes this is completely true.  However with a busy schedule of two kids and one on the way, it was important for me to set goals based on time and my personal availablity to those goals.  I will share one of my goals Is to be consistent and set a realistic schedule for myself and my kids.  It’s not easy to do, even if you do stay home, I actually think it’s harder when you’re home because no one is forcing you to do stay on a schedule.  So that’s one of my goals for my household. 

4.  Remember, you’re not perfect so it’s Ok to be honest with yourself

            This was a hard one for me.  I mean I know I am not perfect, or am I? Just kidding, no one is perfect and we all can improve on things in our lives.  That’s the great thing about a new year.  I really had to think about things I wanted to change or improve in my life.  I had to sit back and ask myself: “are you doing your best, are you being the best you can be”? And once I really thought about it and was honest, I didn’t like my own answer.  I want to be a better wife, mom, daughter…the list goes on. We can’t be perfect beings however, we can still strive to be better.  Agree?

5.  Write down your goals and check them off as you go

            With technology we have smart phones, iPads, iPods, and apps like Evernote.  Well I think all of those additions to the technology world are great, however let’s take it back a little “old school” and write down with pen and paper our goals for the year.  I personally love to write, I love pens, and stationary,these are some of my favorite things so this was very natural for me.  I shared some of my goals with my husband, while other things I kept to myself and this is ok in my opinion.  You can keep your list in your wallet, on your mirror, or in a notebook, whichever works best for you.

            So here’s to 2014, a great year full of life, prosperity, and personal growth.  As moms, we can sometimes lose ourselves because we are so busy with our little ones.  It happens to me on a daily basis, where am I going, what am I doing with my life.  But we can still be goal oriented and ultimately better.  So let’s put 2013 behind us and move on to a better us!

            Thanks for stopping in Mommies, for more tips and tools like this continue to read and share my blog with other mommies.  I am so excited for this year and to help and encourage mommies!

XOXO,

Reina

Photo Courtesy of
Google Images

   We love to read books in our house, although my little ones are not quite reading on their own; my kids still have a love for books.  It’s a great feeling as a mom that they appreciate reading.  My son has a Leap Frog Leap Pad and they have digital story books, however he would rather read from the book and I think it’s great!

            So This week I wanted to do a little review on some of the books we have read this holiday season.  It is very important to me to teach my kids the meaning of Christmas, from a religious standpoint.  I wanted them to understand the reason for the season while making it fun for them.  I also added some of the traditional books as you will see.   So here is the list of my Christmas book review for preschoolers and toddlers. Enjoy!

1. The Christmas Story by Jane Werner Watson

            This is a classic tale of the Christmas Story, which is Jesus’ birth.  It gives a really simple yet touching description of the Holy Night in Bethlehem.  This book was published in 1954 by Golden books.  These classic books are great for little hands and minds.  They keep the message and verbiage simple enough for the little ones to understand and enjoy.  They remind me of when I was in school and the school would have book fairs.  I remember seeing Golden Books a lot.  So if you’re looking for a good story for your little ones this Christmas Season check it out! 🙂

2.  The Little Drummer Boy by Irene Trimble

            My son loves the drums! He plays drums on and with pretty much anything he can find.  He’s been playing since he was two years old.  He really has a passion for it, along with rhythm.  So The Little Drummer Boy was a perfect story to tell.  This is another classic book which tells the story of a poor boy who is unable to take a gift for baby Jesus.  So he plays him a song on his drum, Pa Rum pa pa pum! Probably one of my favorites.  This book is also published by Golden Books.  We also enjoyed the movie as well. 

3.  The Twelve Days of Christmas by Jane Cabrera

            I ordered this book before Thanksgiving from Scholastic.com.  I really loved this rendition of the story and my kids loved the illustrations.  It’s funny because as I was reading this book, I began singing the melody to the song.  My son eventually starting singing along.  Great book and classic Story. 

            So there’s my Christmas Book list.  It’s pretty short and simple, however it worked perfectly for my kids.  You can also print out a coloring page or have them make a simple craft to go along with the book.  We colored pictures of Jesus in the manger, along with making bright stars to represent the three kings.  It gives them something physical to do and in my opinion helps them understand the story a better. 

            I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and Happy 2014! WOW! I can’t even believe I said it.  Make sure to keep coming back to Successful Mommy Advice in the New Year, I look forward to continue to help other mommies strive for success! Thank you again for all your support, without you this wouldn’t be possible. God Bless you all! 🙂

XOXO,

Reina

Photo Courtesy of Google Images

   Tis’ the season to be jolly, or Stressed….Fa, la, la, la, la.  Let’s face it…We Women stress over everything, however during the holidays it increases at a dramatic rate.  I have found that women tend to stress out more about the shopping, cooking, and everything in between more than men.  Why is that? You would think they would stress about it, something must be wrong with us, right?  Don’t worry if you feel stressed, I think that it’s normal and men naturally don’t worry about what color scheme you want your Christmas tree. 

            So what causes the stress? I think a lot of things: finances, time, family, or your personal situation.  Whatever it is, it can be managed.  I want to share with you all how I have managed to deal with my personal holiday stress.  This year I wanted to make the holidays joyous and merry like it should be.  Remember ladies: your kids are watching you.  🙂 So here are five tips to help manage your holiday stress.

1. Try to enjoy the process

            Remember tis’ the season for giving? Well that still stands.  We have to remember when we’re shopping that we are buying gifts because we Want to not because we Have to.  I have tried to play this in my head as I begin my shopping process.  I try to think of the person I am buying for as they open the gift; watching their expressions is priceless.  People can sense when you put thought into a gift and that you are truly giving with love.  Just imagine your kids opening their gifts on Christmas Day, how excited are they? Let that be your motivation during your shopping endeavors.

2. Take your time

            Don’t rush through your shopping.  If you’re a procrastinator (like I am) than you better expect to wait in long lines, and probably not find what you’re looking for.  This year unlike others, I have decided to get a head start on things.  Many people have told me I am behind, however considering my procrastinating skills I feel I am right on time.  It’s smooth sailing when there’s two weeks until Christmas and all your shopping is done.  Then you can refer to number one and enjoy the process.  Do some baking, crafts, or whatever you like during the holidays. 

3.  Shop alone

            Since I am SAHM I have to take my kids shopping with me.  Normally my now four year old son gives me a hard time until we go to the toy aisle, it’s not an “enjoyable” experience for me at all.  So since my husband is off early on Fridays I leave the kids behind and do all my shopping.  I grab a coffee and get started.  It’s also a great way to unwind from a busy week with the kids and just to be alone in my thoughts (which in most cases I’m only thinking of my kids, LOL).  If you have a Saturday or Sunday try that out as well just for a few hours. 

4.  Make a list, Check it twice

            I think that any type of shopping can be overwhelming if you’re not prepared.  Make a list of all the people you’re going to buy for and put ideas next to their names.  This way you’re not walking around the store like a chicken without a head trying to figure out what they will like.  It’s better to get some ideas and even prices online before you go out into the wild.  I make a list for everything.  My husband actually makes fun of me because I’m so old fashioned a use a notebook and pen.  He’s always telling me, “you know there’s an app for that?” Yes I know that I just like to do it this way  with my colorful hello kitty pens LOL 🙂

5.  Online shopping

            I have heard from multiple sources that this is the new way to shop.  Many people skip the crowds and malls and do all their shopping online.  I haven’t fallen into the online shopping addiction quite yet, I still enjoy all the madness.  However I have heard you can get some awesome deals and even free shipping on most items.  So you should definitely check this out, especially if you get stressed out from shopping with big crowds.  I think this is the perfect way to eliminate some of the holiday shopping stress.

            I have yet to try online shopping for myself, so if you do online shop I’d love to hear about your Stress free experience.  All these other tips provided have worked great for me.  I have found that sitting back and drinking a ginger spice latte while enjoying the process really helps.  Put on some Christmas music get into the holiday spirit, put the stress aside and worry later.  This time only comes once a year, and I believe that it’s important for our kids to have lasting memories of the holidays.  I always did growing up. 

            Now I want to create new traditions with my own family without being stressed out.  This year I really refused to feel that way.  I have too much to be thankful for and I really just wanted to focus on that.  So if you’re stressed out, it’s OK and completely normal, just try to focus on the positive side of things. 

            I hope these tips help you in your journey through Christmas shopping.  I can’t wait to hear all your stories.  🙂 Thanks for stopping by and let’s keep striving for mommy success during this holiday season.

Blessings,

Reina

Top left Photo: Door Snowman
Top Right: My son painting his candy cane
bottom left: Snowflakes and advent calendar
bottom right, Clothespin ornaments

    As the holiday season approaches, I really wanted to take this time to do some fun Christmas activities with my four year old son.  Now that he’s older, he’s starting to understand things and it’s becoming a lot easier to communicate with him.  It’s also a great way to create your own family traditions so that one day you can look back at everything you did with your little one. 

            In my son’s preschool class they are working on a many different Christmas crafts.  However, I wanted to put my own spin on things here at home.  I have used many different resources for ideas.  Pinterest has been one of my favorites by far! They have so many great craft ideas for toddlers/preschoolers, for more awesome ideas you can follow me by clicking the link: http://www.pinterest.com/reinagonzalez33/.  Although my daughter is only 18 months old, I still plan to use her little hands in some finger-paint for homemade ornaments.  It’s a great keepsake, and also gifts for special loved ones. 

            Here are some simple Christmas Crafts for toddlers that we have been working on at home to get into the holiday spirit.

1. Turn your ordinary door into a snowman.

            What a great way to add some special holiday decor to your home.  I found this great idea on pinterest (Of course).  The idea originally had garland and lights around the door, and they used some type of card stock for the scarf.  I decided to do Tinsel garland for the scarf, and the other parts were very simple.  You will need black and orange construction paper (thick cut if possible) Tape, and whatever you chose for the scarf.  You can have your toddler/preschooler help cut out the eyes, mouth, and buttons using preschool training scissors.  You can add whatever you want to dress up your door, it’s super festive and really easy to do! 🙂

2. Paint and Cotton Candy Canes:

Cotton Ball candy cane

My son made a very cool craft in school this week.  It was a cutout of a Candy cane, which they painted red.  After it dried, they glued cotton balls and it’s a super cute Candy Cane.  Great decor for your windows or kitchen area.  You can do this with finger paint or a brush, whichever you prefer both are great for fine motor skills.  We are also going to work on some “hand” made ornaments and hang them on the tree.  I have noticed that my son, because he’s so busy all the time he would rather paint than color.  SO I try to do more crafts and activities this way.  But you can chose whatever way works best for your little one.

3. Glitter-full Snowflakes:

            I remember as a kid we would make snowflakes using an origami technique by cutting the edges of the paper and insides.  Once you open the paper, it had really cool designs- remember those?  Today, they have even better supplies I found a pack of 12 snowflakes (cut out) blue and white and the great part is they were only one dollar! I found them at Target in the dollar section, now they have a bigger selection so make sure to check it out.

              So my son and I used  regular school glue (not stick or paste) and sprinkled glitter over the glue.  My son really loved this.  It was really messy, so make sure to put some old newspaper or towels on the floor.  I still am cleaning up glitter so be prepared for a little mess in your workshop 🙂 You can also put these on your windows or door, I did it in my kitchen and spread them out. 

            I also added a Christmas tree advent calendar.  Every day we place stickers over the numbers to countdown the days till Christmas.  I also found this for one dollar.

4. Clothespin Ornaments:

            I found this at Target (that’s weird, I think I go there too much, HAHA). I thought it was a really cool idea! I never thought to make ornaments from clothespins.  So I just bought the kit, but I will post pictures of them on my face book page for you all to see once we create them. 

            So there is a short but simple list of crafts for you and your little ones.  It’s a great opportunity to teach them about Christmas.  We are very spiritual in our home, so we are teaching our kids the traditions but explaining to them what they mean and why we celebrate.  I printed out some great coloring pages from Raising our Kids.com, here is the link if you’re interested. http://www.raisingourkids.com/coloring-pages/holiday/christmas/pages/christian.html

            Thanks for stopping in mommies, I hope you all have the opportunity to do some fun Christmas activities with your little ones.  Tune in for more topics like this for the month of December.  Let’s keep striving for mommy success! 🙂

XOXO,

Reina

My Family July 2013

          I Recently had the pleasure to be a guest blogger on Carrotsovercake.com to discuss what I’m thankful for.  So I wanted all my readers here on Successful mommy advice to have a first glace before it goes up on Friday.  I want to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and may God bless you all during this holiday season. 

          As this year comes to a close, I am starting to reflect on all the blessings in my life.  There are so many things I am truly Grateful and Thankful for, and I consider myself to be so lucky for all that I have.  My list was so long that I had to narrow it down to name just a few things, or else I would keep the readers here for hours! 🙂

First: I am so grateful for my husband.  He’s such a great man, full of energy and ambitions that surpass all of my expectations in a man.  He’s my support system and he’s always encouraging and motivating me, he’s an amazing partner and I am so blessed to have him and now we are raising a family together.  It’s been such an exciting journey thus far and I’m so eager to see what the future has in store for us.

Second: I am thankful for the gift of being a mom.  Growing up without my biological mom in my life was really difficult.  It came with many challenges and lingering questions.  I knew that one day when I became a mom that I would be the best I could.  Today I am not only blessed with two amazing kids, I am now expecting my third child. I am so full of joy to call myself a mom, and it is my true calling in this life to teach, mentor, and guide my kids.

Third: Finally, I am thankful for the privilege to be a stay-at-home-mom.  As a woman I feel that we have the ability to make choices not only for ourselves, but for our kids. Many people will say that stay-at-home-moms lose themselves by staying home all the time.  Not for me.  I feel completely content with my decision to stay home with my kids.  It’s been such a blessing and now in my blog I can share that journey with so many other moms.

            We have to remember to write down our blessings often, sometimes we forget them and only remember them during the holiday season.  I know that I fall victim of that often.  I hope that you all have a wonderful holiday and may God bless you all in the New Year! 🙂

XOXO,

Reina

photo courtesy of google images

I recently enrolled my son in a pre-school program through the city where we live.  It’s been an adjustment since he is almost four and has never really had a conventional class room agenda.  Because of this I decided to introduce school and class to him slowly, by only enrolling him once a week for a few hours.  He has been going for three weeks now, and it’s been great for him and mommy.       

            Since he turned two I have been working on his communication development, words, sub words, and pretty much everything in between.  It’s been super challenging because my son is full of energy and is easily distracted.  He’s so smart and eager to learn which is why I began  teaching him early on in the first place.  He liked it and so I ran with it.  Since I stay home I wanted take full advantage of my children’s education. 

            When he started school I became so discouraged.  All he wanted to do was run around and play with all the toys, while all the other kids were writing their first and last names.  I was AMAZED! And at the same time a little disappointed that my son didn’t know these things. 

            I had no idea know that at three years old kids needed to know how to write their names.  I felt immediately that my son was behind all the other kids and that I wasn’t doing a good enough job with him at home.  It was difficult for me. 

            Now I am coping because his teacher and staff are super supportive.  I felt so encouraged and ready to take this challenge head on.  I know he’s going to get it and excel and I’m excited to watch his progress. 

            So If you are going through this or are struggling with your toddler in this area, I want to provide a few tips that are helping my son today.  Remember during this process to always use positive reinforcements and words of encouragement, if your too tough or negative you can turn them away from their learning process. 

Here are the Toddler Writing expectations:

1. Motor skill/muscle abilities:

            I think naturally we want to give the pencil to our kids and have them write their ABCs and expect them to do it right.  Well it doesn’t work that way.  They have to build up the fine motor skills to write.  For example, what hand to use, how to hold the pencil, and which way to write.  There are so many ways to build these skills with making it fun in the meantime.  Every child develops these skills at different times. 

            A. use something other than crayons or pencils to trace.  Use chalk, paint brushes, cheerios, even toys to help your child trace/follow lines.  This keeps them entertained and also helps them learn at the same time.  Our teacher recommended using painters tape to make lines and have my son use his cars to follow them. 

            B. Don’t rush into the letters and numbers right away.  Focus on basic lines, circles, and squiggly lines.  They have to get the gist of using their hands to follow the lines from top to bottom.

basic lines

            C. Break the large crayons in small pieces.  This forces your child to grip the crayon rather than holding with a fist.  It has made an improvement for my son in many ways. 

2. Use of stickers and Bingo doppers:

Bingo Dopper Art

            In my sons class they have the letter/number/shape of the day.  The teacher prints out a letter or number and it’s made of circles.  The kids use the bingo doppers to trace the letter or number.  My son has done outstanding in this area.  I definitely recommend this specific lesson for teaching your kids.  It’s fun and helps them build onto the skill of writing.

            Allow your child to peel the stickers from the sheet and stick them on paper.  They will do this using the tips of their fingers and it also allows them to use their critical thinking. “How do I get this sticker off?” Let them figure it out. 

3.  Big Letters:

            My son learned the alphabet by recognizing “big” and “small”.  Instead of capital “A” it is “big” A and “little” A.  He recognizes them often when we’re driving or out and about.  When introducing your child to writing his name or letters make sure they are big enough for them to see.  The smaller the print, the more confusing.  Start big and shrink the letters as they grasp the concept. 

4. The grand expectation:

            Don’t worry if your child scribbles or doesn’t understand how to write at three.  Not all kids understand it right away and it’s totally fine.  Personally it was hard for me because I felt like I didn’t teach him enough.  Try to focus on your child’s strengths and work from there.  They will get it when they are ready.  It’s important to make it as fun as possible since these little ones have very short attention spans. 

5.  Enjoy the process:

            This is a very important tip, sometimes I have to remind myself to do this.  We forget that their little minds are going so fast and learning so much.  Just over the last year my son has progressed tremendously and I am so proud of him.  Remind them that you’re proud of their hard work.  We want them to meet ours, a teacher’s, or school’s expectations and we forget to remind them how awesome they are in the process.

            So there are a few tips on how to help your child in this area.  This is some advice I received from my son’s preschool teacher.  She is absolutely Amazing.  My son and I are super lucky to have found her.  She’s been so supportive and encouraging in my son’s educational journey.  I can’t wait to see what’s in store for him. 

            Remember that school can be scary at first take it slow and allow them to get things at their own pace.  I know I struggle with it daily.  I think it’s normal but we can deal with it in a positive way. 

            Thanks for stopping by mommies, Keep sharing and voting for my blog.  I love and appreciate all your comments and feedback! Together we can strive for mommy success!

XOXO,

Reina

My blogging journey took off when my family and I took on the challenge of living a healthier life. I have become a health guru from writing for medical companies like Liberty Medical. You can also check out my blog at Carrots Over Cake for other health and family tips!

“Disconnect to Reconnect”

Reasons to Unplug from Technology as a Family

As it has been successful in creeping up and finding itself a permanent spot among my family, technology has managed to bewitch each of us – mind, body, and soul.  It’s unfortunate that I, like so many of you, have been made a victim to the digital and technological world.  Staying constantly plugged in to the world around me has proven to negatively and positively impact my life.  As a wife, a mom, and a freelance writer, I have come to realize that I was missing out on significant life events happening within my family. 

As an experiment, we decided as a family to make a drastic change in our household – unplug from technology.  Although outrageous to some of you reading this, we were able to disconnect for two months by implementing strict rules that were within reason.  Challenging at first, I want to share with you the reasons why we decided to unplug as a family, what methods we used to help our transition, and what we positive benefits we experienced as we disconnected from technology and reconnected with each other.

Reasons to Unplug from Technology

Although we understood that technology is incredibly useful and convenient in our lives, its constant presence in my family’s life made it difficult to function without it.  Here are the reasons why my family decided to unplug from technology:

·        No Human Interaction: Each of us was constantly checking, texting, or using our electronic devices while in mid conversation with each other.  We no longer had face-to-face conversations, nor did we interact with each other anymore.  The development of social media replaced our verbal discussions and turned them into cyber attacks.  We no longer felt the need to talk to or interact with one another in person.

·        No Physical Activity:Thanks to our great entertainment system, family dinner consisted of us eating around the TV, watching the latest episode of a TV series, in silence.  We no longer played with each other outside, or spent time in the park playing with the dog like we used to.  We were getting lazy, and we were beginning to forget what it meant to be physically active.

·       Development of Negative Attitudes:  The more immersed we became in our technology, the more we began developing anti-social behaviors.  I didn’t understand why the number of phone calls from the principal of my children’s school was increasing, or why my husband and I were constantly fighting with each other.  Each member of my family used technology as an escape route to avoid dealing with our feelings – and each of us began developing negative attitudes and behaviors.

Methods to Help Unplug

As a mother and wife in today’s digital world, I found it to be extremely difficult to maintain a healthy connection with my family.  To help us disconnect from technology and rebuild our relationships, we implemented the following methods as a means to reconnect with each other.

·       Strict House Rules: Creating a list of rules and visibly displaying them through the house makes the initial transition of unplugging easier.  Having a constant reminder that cell phones were not to be used for talking or texting until after homework assignments were completed; or work related calls were no longer allowed to be accepted after office hours.  The use of all social media accounts were deactivated immediately.  These constant reminders were helpful and necessary for my family.  Television, video game consoles, and portable electronic devices were not allowed to be used during school days, and were only allowed to be used after sunset on the weekends.

·       Limited Access: Limiting access to electronic devices, internet usage, television watching, and game consoles proved to be one of the best approaches to help unplug my family from technology.  Initially downgrading our cable channels, we removed multiple monitors and relocated them to a single room – the entertainment room – as a means to reinforce family time.  By limiting access to the use of technology, my family and I were forced to find other outlets to consume our time and entertain us.

·       Techno-free Vacation: Whether it was for a day, a weekend, or an actual vacation, one of the best ways to help unplug from technology is to spend time together and leave the technology behind.  We spent our time in parks, at beaches, and being active, uninterrupted by distracting noises and notifications.

·       Face to Face Introductions:  Realizing how much time my children spent on the phone talking and texting their friends, I wanted to know who they were.  By removing their mode of communication, I suggested that their friends come over for dinner.  This is a great way for you to interact with the individuals playing a role in your child’s life.

Positive Benefits of Digitally Detoxing

For a long time I had become oblivious to how much time my family spent buried in technology.  By removing or unplugging ourselves from the unhealthy and addiction-fueled influence, the methods we chose to incorporate into our lives proved to restore and reconnect us to each other.

·       Refocusing Relationships: Digitally detoxing from technology helps you to refocus and re-evaluate who is really important in your life.  Instead of freely expressing and communicating your true emotions through social media forms, interacting with people face-to-face helps you in social situations to solve problems.

·       Remembering to Appreciate the “Now”: Recognize that technology speeds up time and is relative to your individualized state of motion.  Therefore, learning how to unplug from technology provides you with tranquility, stillness, and a moment to appreciate the moment.  Without technology’s strong influence over your life, you’re able to remove yourself (and your family) from that environment to restore your sense of independence and embrace the “now.”

After two months of digital detoxing, my family’s addiction to our usage of technology has significantly decreased.  Instead of depending on it like we used to, we have learned the valuable lesson of when to use it, when to turn it off, and how.  No longer are we compelled to share every movement or comment on the statuses of others because we no longer feel the nagging pressure to prove we’re relevant in the digital world.  Connecting, nurturing, and interacting with people on a personal level has been the most beneficial lesson learned since reactivating and reconnecting to the technological world again.

Like a well-balanced diet, the use of technology in your family and life, should be used to help manage and organize it – not control it.  The best advice I can give you as you and your family move forward in the modern world is to try digitally detoxing.  Not only will you promote and encourage the use of your imagination, you’ll be able to further solidify and transcend the relationships you want on an emotional, physical, and spiritual depth.

                  I am very happy to announce to all of you that my husband and I are expecting our third child! Since this blog is so personal to me, a place for me to share my feelings, thoughts, and experiences with you all I felt this is the perfect time to announce.  Still in my first trimester almost 7 weeks along, this pregnancy came as a bit of a surprise.  Although my husband and I spoke of building on to our family, I never thought it would happen so fast.  Is it true, can it be? Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I’m soon to be a mommy of three. 

            I really know my body pretty well and I always find out early on that I am pregnant.  It happened with both of my kids I found out at 6 weeks.  Well this time, I was only five weeks when I suspected something was not right.  I didn’t experience any “common” symptoms, just super hungry and tired all the time which was an indication my period was coming soon.  I was a few days “late” according to my calendar, however my cycles are rarely ever normal (28 days).  Until I started to count the days….and then I realized, “uh-oh”  and I knew right away. 

            I tested (twice) and sure enough it was a positive test.  Once I told my husband His face was covered in disbelief, but it was true.  We are pregnant…AGAIN!

            My first reaction I Immediately thought:

“we are going to need a mini-van,

Can we afford this?

and we need a bigger house”.

            Emotionally it was hard because not too long ago I was breastfeeding my little girl, now I’m starting over again.  Once I heard that heartbeat for the first time, my whole world changed (for a third time). My heart grew with more love I never knew I had. It’s an amazing feeling.  However, initially that wasn’t my reaction, and it’s completely normal to feel this way, whether it’s your first or last.

            Trust me when I say nothing is wrong with me or you if you’re going through this.  I had to remember this is just a baby and the situation could be worse. 

            I am really blessed to have such a supportive husband.  His attitude and excitement was really encouraging for me.  Having a great support system is really important, because I do believe that it takes a village.  My husband’s show of faith really helped me to understand that we can handle this.  It’s not the first nor last time someone will have three kids.  I felt calm and thought:

“I Got This, we got this”.

            So now we play the waiting game for eight more months, my due date changed.  Initially I was due July 4th now it’s changed to July 10th.  Which is going to be a little difficult for my daughter (and us) because her birthday is on July 18th.  Looks like someone will have a birthday party buddy! 🙂 This is my first pregnancy where I am anemic, I’ve never had iron deficiencies  before so I must take an iron supplement to bring my numbers up.  Which explains why I am so tired all the time. 

            I was told by a few friends to encourage my kids to be a part of the pregnancy so they are excited about a new addition.  I have my son rub lotion on my belly or we try to listen to the heartbeat on the portable heart monitor I have.  I notice my son is really excited, and my daughter doesn’t really know what’s going on.  But I have noticed both of my kids more clingy and loving towards me, and I’ll take all the love and hugs I can get from them 🙂 

            Hearing my baby’s heartbeat really made me realize, how blessed I truly am.   I have received the gift of being a mother, although this wasn’t planned accordingly, I am happy, we are happy.   I am looking forward to sharing this journey with all of you.  I’m excited to talk about my experiences being pregnant with a third baby along with sharing some tips and tools for those of you going through this.   And I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for our family. 

            Thanks for all your ongoing support of successful mommy advice! Keep sharing and connecting with me, so together we can strive for mommy success! 🙂

XOXO,

Reina