Photo courtesy of FNU.EDU/google images

  As kids we dream of many things.  We have career dreams of being astronauts, lawyers, doctors, or even actresses.   We tend to lose ourselves in our imaginations and dreams as children.  We have plans to attend the best colleges and create memories to last a lifetime.  What happens when our happily ever after doesn’t become reality? When things don’t go as planned, do we give up, do we try harder? I’m not sure what your answers are, but I know that dreams can become a reality and that doesn’t have to stop if your life didn’t’ go according to “plan”. My kids and husband are my world, my life would be incomplete without them and I have no idea how I lived before.  But I still want to have a passion and pursue goals, especially now that they are in my life I have so much to live and work for with them here.  I am a work in progress and proud of myself and what I have to one day offer a company or even my own business.  I’m excited for what the future holds for my family. 

            I really wanted to touch on this subject because I have been talking a lot recently about Back-To-School for toddlers and preschoolers.  However I have completely neglected to talk about all you mamas/daddies heading back to school to pursue your goals.  I commend every parent taking on such an important goal in their lives, from raising families to working full time jobs, school is still a priority and you can do it, I say go for it! I just recently finished a year ago, and although it has given me such a sense of accomplishment at times I must admit that I miss it.

             Although I am a super busy stay-at-home-mom, I also love to learn.  I am constantly researching and “teaching” myself through books and audios that I listen to daily.  However, It’s nothing like being in a classroom, weather that classroom is traditional or online.  It’s a way to communicate with the outside world about something productive.  I love to see that moms today have so many options to educate themselves and that they are taking the stand and doing it.  It’s super easy to talk about it, but to actually do the work while raising a family can be tough.  In my experience I have found that you need to balance out dedicating time for your studies and family life.  It’s not easy.  In today’s world we really need a degree to get by, It’s an imperative piece of paper that will help you find your career path.   I also think that it helps your kids in so many ways, it encourages them I am sure as they grow to know that their parents went to college and had goals and dreams. 

            So you’re thinking, “are you living your dream”?  Well, not yet but I know that I will get there.  Here’s a little bit of my personal story and dream building session.  I started to really sit down and think about what I wanted and what I needed to do to get there.  I always knew since I was younger I wanted to be a teacher (you can ask all my little cousins, when we would play school I was always the teachers).  So I started looking into child development and teaching.  I feel like I am already a teacher because I work so hard teaching my own kids. I am encouraged by kids, they are so full of light and innocence and are so eager to learn.  I love to watch them grow and to see their eyes light up when they learn something new.  It’s such a satisfying experience for me.  While earning my degree I took a class in marketing and business management, our assignment consisted of creating our own business which included a business plan and structure.  I was looking back at some of my material and found that my business was a preschool! WOW! It’s funny that this business plan was created before I really knew I wanted to teach.  Sub-consciously I guess I always knew that I would be working with kids and teaching someday, and the time is finally coming.  Great! I have a plan and goal, and am determined to get it.  Then I realized I needed to find a school with a child development credential/certification program.  The internet became my BFF for two days.  And with the click of my mouse, I found it, it read:  Study child development through the UCLA experience, through the extension program. I was officially sold and stoked.  UCLA always being my favorite college and really an unrealistic goal for many years to me.  Now I can actually attend through their extension classes offered.  After my research and analysis of what would best suite me I talked it over with my husband and he was totally on board for this.  So we are now planning to save up so I can go there for my credentials and certification.  It’s such a rewarding feeling to make your dreams reality.  It’s really exciting to dream and think about what you can do with your life and really the sky is the limit. 

Courtesy of UCLA.edu/extension & google images

            I used to hear and sometimes still do that once your kids come along everything changes and you won’t have time for yourself.  I agree that it’s hard, but it’s not impossible.  Having kids should not stop you.  I believe that you can still feel empowered and motivated with your kids, include them in the process, help them understand why you’re doing it.  I look into my kids eyes and I can only hope that once they grow up they will be proud of the woman/mother I am.  Going back to school as an adult and when having a family does affect everyone, however it is a choice you make for YOU.  Yes you want to succeed and leave a legacy for your kids, but it should be something that you love and are passionate about.  When I finished my bachelors degree I thought, “now what?” I was confused on what I wanted to do.  I knew that being a mother and wife must come first but I still wanted to do something, something I love and enjoy doing for ME. And with this new venture in my life I will see where this takes me, where God will lead me and how far I can go.  It’s going to be an interesting journey and I am super excited. 

             The point of this post is to encourage all you moms (or dads) to remember your dreams (if you haven’t’ already accomplished them) put yourself first and do something for YOU.  I know that I have talked about this before, but it’s something so dear to me, education and setting goals is so important for moms and women in general.  Moms can tend to fall into depressions (especially SAHMs), and feel lost or under-appreciated, doing something positive is so important for YOU. and this doesn’t have to be education, it can be anything! A cooking class, yoga, zumba, knitting, painting, reading, blogging, you name it! The sky is the limit and you can reach it if you believe and trust yourself.  Having a support system is encouraging when taking on decisions like this.   I am blessed enough to say my husband supports me as long as he knows that this is what I really want.  I also wanted to take this opportunity and my blog to share with you what’s going in my life and how things are possible even if you have families and kids.  My life isn’t perfect, nor am I a perfect parent, I am always trying to find ways to be better Daily.  Let’s just call it, “A work in progress”. 

photo courtesy of google images

            That’s what I’ve got for today! Thanks for stopping by Successful mommy advice, I love to hear from you so leave me a comment.  Remember to share my blog with other mommies out there so together we can strive for mommy success! 🙂

XOXO,

Reina   

Organized book and crayon station. Great way for visual learners!

Things I purchased from the dollar section of Target. Great tools, great price!

           This is one of the busiest times of the year (Other than Black Friday, HA)….Back-To-School.  Some moms love it, some dread it, and others can’t wait! It’s a process that includes buying supplies and preparing your child mentally for a successful school year.  Since my kids are under the age of five and I have yet to experience all about the back-to-school process, I have my own practices here at home and have been preparing and planning for a little over a month.  I want to share with you all a few tips on how to manage your space, time, and money to prepare your at-home toddler for school/learning success.  I also want to share some advice I received from an actual teacher on how to prepare your toddlers for Kindergarten.

             Ultimately mommies (or daddies) it’s up to us to teach our kids and it all begins here at home. Personally speaking it has been a huge learning process, from understanding my child and gaining the most patience I’ve ever had in my entire life.  Just remember that you are not alone and things do get easier as you become more experienced and you and your child grow together.  So here are some tips for success for back-to-school for toddlers (at home).

1.  Supplies are a biggie for me, and to be honest I am a little obsessive over them.  I feel I am constantly buying them, my son breaks the crayons and loses the tops to the markers.  Try to remember that this will  happen especially with little ones who are still learning to use these supplies.  Your kids will not notice the difference in brands and in the end you will spend less money.  Some supplies that I always recommend having at home are construction or craft paper, toddler/training scissors, washable paints/markers, and lots of disinfectants.  It’s important to have your supplies accessible for you and your “little student”.  I buy most things at The Dollar Tree, Target (dollar section), and Wal-Mart. 

2. Space. In a classroom in school, your child will have lots of room to learn.  From desks, to carpet/rug times, learning centers, and table time.  In your home this may become difficult especially if you do not have the space, like me.  Living in a small house or apartment where  space is not spread out as easily can make having a classroom difficult.  Even though my space is limited I have designated an area for my son’s “classroom”.  We have an Easel Desk, plastic drawers full of supplies, a reading station, and bulletin board to display his work.  Although sometimes it’s not “adult” or “Guest” friendly, it’s definitely kid/student approved. 

3. Time. I have always been a firm believer of a schedule, however I know that sometimes it’s not easy to stick to one especially being at home.  I started thinking how can be more effective with my time and my child’s time.  So I created a schedule with them in mind.  It’s very easy to get off track and lose focus, your schedule should have time for a little bit of everything so that you can still include learning time.  Here are some great tips for learning time with your toddler/preschooler from Melissa Wheeler, professional teacher:

            As a rule of thumb kids have an attention span about the same as their age… 5 years=5  min . So keep that in mind   and don’t expect your child to sit longer than that and stay     focused or interested. This is why during kindergarten there are a lot of transitions and   rug time, because kids don’t want/can’t sit at desks for long. As a society we are asking a  lot of children so early, what children used to learn in first grade they now learn in  kinder (no more dress up and painting all day)! Well not all children are physically  ready to make these adjustments earlier, especially boys who tend to be behind  developmentally then girls. I think you should embrace play with your child as an aspect of learning. Too much structure can backfire. He doesn’t need to sit at a desk, and many fourth graders can’t even do this!

She is an amazing teacher and has been a guest blogger on successful mommy advice.  For more tips and tools on how to Soar your Child you can find her on her facebook page by clicking this link: https://www.facebook.com/SoarMyChild

4. Have Fun! I think that naturally we become overwhelmed with statistics or averages on where our child should be according to his/her age.  Remember that every kid is different and you need to enjoy this time.  Keep in mind that if you’re having fun teaching them they will have fun learning it and may end up being exactly where they need to be.  It’s been a great experience and super rewarding.  I know that it takes time and lots of patience, baby steps can go a long way.  Your child learns at all times of the day, when you’re at the park, taking a walk, or running errands.  Explain things to them, from colors, shapes, and numbers.  For me this has worked and it makes it fun for them.  Play “find that shape” at the grocery store.  My son learned Ovals because of the Ralph’s Logo. 

            Back-To-School can be tough and exhausting, with teaching your kids at home for whatever circumstances you have, it’s all about what you are willing to put in.  I take a lot of time printing, writing, and creating my child’s “learning area/classroom” here at home.  It’s a joy for me because I love teaching him, and I just love him and want him to have the best of everything, including the best of me. 

            I hope some of these tips have helped, they are my personal trials and errors.  I am looking forward to a great year with my awesome kid! Remember to share my blog with other mommies out there so together we can strive for mommy success!

Rosella Gomez returns to Successfulmommyadvice with her heart-wrenching story about Non-Breastfeeding. Share her journey with other mommies out there!

 I  feel I have a scarlet letter when I meet other moms. When they ask how long I breastfed or ask how I weaned my baby off the breast and I have to tell them: I am a formula feeding mom. I get smirks, gasps, remarks, and sometimes scowls.  If I do have a scarlet letter it’s probably on my forehead and it’s probably an F. 

A big F that stands for formula feeding. It is a scarlet letter that I used to be ashamed of, but now I can say I am proud of it because it made me a stronger woman. So Here’s my Scarlet Letter: A Non-Breastfeeding Story for all you moms out there, as I’m sure many can relate!

I had a great pregnancy, I can’t complain. I was very healthy and active. We took a baby care basics class and a breastfeeding class, because of course  I was going to breastfeed my child on demand and was super excited to do so! 

Everything was perfect! Nothing could bring me down!

After taking a trip to Orlando FL we came back for a 35 week appointment.  I ended up being induced at 35 weeks due to intrauterine growth restriction.  Not what we expected. We felt totally unprepared. 

I was admitted to the hospital on a Tuesday afternoon on a rush. Specialists and nurses were preparing for a very tiny baby. I was terrified, I was sad and I felt so unprepared. I still was supposed to have 5 more weeks to finish preparing for my baby and now suddenly that time was gone and I had a gut feeling that she was fine and healthy.

My baby was finally born on a Friday, after days of laying on an uncomfortable hard bed with no food and no sleep as they were taking my pressure every 30 minutes. As soon as she came out she was taken away to a plastic bassinet in the corner to be checked. They were expecting a 3 lb baby, small, weak, possibly with down syndrome and/or other birth defects- that had been their diagnosis of my baby in the womb. Instead they got a feisty, 5 lb , 18 inches long perfectly normal beautiful little girl.  I saw her taken away to the NICU while I was being stitched up.  I didn’t get to see her until 6 hours later.  I didn’t get skin to skin right away, my face wasn’t the first thing she saw.  I felt like the torture of a long labor was over and a new torture began.

They brought my baby to me hours later, and right away 2 lactation consultants came in, along with 2 other nurses. They all poked and prodded my breasts and nipples. They placed my baby at my breast and tried to get her to latch, we tried different holds, switched sides, they pinched my nipples, pulled on them, told me to use a pump while I sat in the bed totally confused, thinking, “why are they doing all this?”

They instructed me on how to use a nipple shield with a feeding tube inserted into it with some formula, to entice my baby to attempt to latch. She did nothing but scream and move away. No one explained to me what was going on. They told me to just keep trying to latch her on and call a nurse when I needed to feed her. Also, they asked me to keep pumping every 2 hours. 

On Saturday after trying and failing to latch my little baby one of the many nurses taking care of us asked me if I even knew why I needed a nipple shield. I told her that I honestly had no idea and that I had been too tired and confused to ask any of the lactation consultants. She explained to me that I had flat nipples. I had never heard about that before. I thought all nipples were the same. She explained it to me in detail and explained how it was making the latch difficult in addition to my child being tiny and not having a proper sucking reflex.  

We stayed in the hospital until Sunday. They let us go and I told them I would continue to pump until my milk came in and that I would continue to work on the latch and would supplement with formula if needed to ensure that my tiny baby got food in her. 

The next months were horrible. No one told me breastfeeding would have complications.

I read every single article from a credible source that I found, I read several breastfeeding books, I read scholarly studies on breastfeeding, watched videos on you tube of women breast feeding, I saw 10 different lactation consultants at my hospital. I talked to two other consultants that were independent over the phone to see if they could help me. (They charged $100 an hour each so no they did not help me) I talked to La Leche League members, I talked to nurses, I talked to midwives. Nothing. My baby was not latching and I felt so ashamed, so useless and so alone. 

Pumping every two hours was torture, I hated the sound of the machine, I hated not being happy , I hated my breasts and my nipples for not working how they were supposed to and I hated myself the most.  I didn’t want anyone to see me, I felt worse than dirt on the ground.

I was so unhappy that I was forgetting to eat and drink water. I would cry in the shower. I would cry at night once my husband was asleep and I would cry every time I tried to get my baby to latch on, she would do the same. I wasn’t sleeping well either, whenever my baby was sleeping I was pumping or trying to clean the house and other chores and when I did try to sleep I couldn’t. I was obsessed with reading everything I could about breastfeeding and getting my baby to latch on, there was no time for sleep or rest!  

My baby would cry a lot for hours, had colic and had severe gas issues. She wasn’t sleeping

well during the day, and at night she would scream for hours. I was so numb from everything that I didn’t even notice I had a major bladder infection until I realized that it had already been some time after my postpartum appointment and I was still in pain everywhere. I called and was scheduled for an appointment along with some blood and urine tests. The nurse called me back and said she was so worried and shocked because the level of infection I had was severe and she was surprised that I wasn’t in the hospital.  It turns out that my emotional pain was greater than any physical pain. I took medication for the infection and my infection went away.

Still, I was in a dark pit and no one seemed to help. All I found at the bottom of the pit was judgment, negative comments and nasty looks from other moms when I pulled out my bottles to feed my baby.  “You just need to try harder”, You’re obviously doing something wrong”, “Formula is evil” “You aren’t being a very good mom” “It’s your fault for letting them induce you…etc. is all I heard from them.

So much anger against myself, embarrassment,  guilt, pain and tears.  

I thought  since I couldn’t breastfeed my child that my existence was totally pointless.

I thought I was unworthy of such a beautiful child.

How could I ever be a good mom if I couldn’t even do something so basic? I couldn’t even produce enough milk for my child and I couldn’t get her latch on, how could I be a good mom?  I was so wrong to think that way.   

Not many people offered kind words or encouragement. My mom and my husband were my only stable support system they helped me through it. My husband especially saw me at my darkest weakest moments and loved me in spite of all of this. 

The only thing I felt was perfect and pure in my life was my baby girl. She had always been perfect, ever since we saw her first sonogram. She is the main reason I went through a hell and came back out alive. I did it all for her.

I hit rock bottom when my last lactation consultant told me that she had seen more than hundreds of babies and moms and that in her honest (off the record) opinion my baby would probably not latch on ever. She told me that a baby that already knew how to breastfeed would probably be able to draw out my nipple to feed so that there was still

hope for me if I had a second child. 

But it didn’t solve my problem. It didn’t make me feel better, it didn’t make my baby latch  on and it didn’t make the negative comments from people go away. Life was not great and all the information I read said that I wouldn’t be able to bond with my baby unless I breastfed. Great! Another thing I was totally useless at! 

I finally snapped out of depressed and self pity mode when we had to take my daughter to the emergency room at 2 am. She had blood in her poop. It was due to milk protein allergy. I had to stop all dairy and switch to a formula that would be more gentle on her little tummy.

I was so scared to see her bleeding and it made me realize that there was so much more to being a good mom than just being able to produce milk and breastfeeding. 

I kept pumping until my milk dried up, I was prescribed medications to maintain my supply- my husband didn’t like the list of side effects so I never took them. We continued to supplement with formula. We bonded during those bottle feedings, she would smile at me while drinking milk and I would cry, finally because I was so happy, so relieved that my daughter could love a wretch like me.  As the milk drooled down her face I could see how happy she was in my arms and that it didn’t matter to her if I had poured formula in her bottle or breast milk. She cared about ME, she smiled at ME, She loved ME!

I started feeling better, wanting to see people, wanting to go out.  By 4 months my daughter was completely on formula. 

I have really thick skin now thanks to this experience. Negative comments don’t bring me down anymore. I don’t like hearing them, but now I can laugh inside and feel sorry for those people who feel the need to judge others. I pray that someday they realize how much damage they cause with their words.

I feel very confident and educated about formula feeding and breastfeeding. I know all the pros and cons for both. I support and understand both.

Life is too short to stay in a dark pit isolated with a scarlet letter.  My scarlet letter is still there, I still get comments and smirks every now and then, but now I know to ignore them.  Instead of being a fresh wound it is a scar in my heart that reminds me where I was before and where I am now. It’s a scar that does not hurt or cause me pain. I  have a happy healthy child and we love each other very much.

Being a good mom isn’t about breastfeeding or formula feeding, it’s not about using cloth diapers or disposable; it’s not about using organic products for baby or using regular baby products. It’s about loving and caring for your baby. Taking care of yourself and being the best you can be so you can LOVE your baby. It’s the cuddles, the hugs, the kisses, the play time, the attention, the peek-a-boo games, the smiles, the giggles, all the laughs and most importantly the love you give your baby that matters.  The milk is extra. If you can breastfeed that is awesome, you go girl!  If for some reason you can’t breastfeed or decide not to then that is awesome too, you go girl! Don’t let a scarlet letter bring you down or keep you in a dark pit. Your baby needs YOU, your baby LOVES YOU!

My Breastfeeding Story: Here are My Breastfed babies. My son breastfed till 14 months and my daughter still breastfeeds at 12 months!

   In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I want to share my breastfeeding story with you.  When we’re pregnant we see photos of mother’s breastfeeding their babies, and it looks so peaceful and beautiful.  While it is truly a beautiful it’s not always simple and peaceful.  Let’s be honest, it takes time, patience, and practice especially as a first time mom not knowing what to expect.  They don’t tell you in those pictures, the truth about breastfeeding, the pain, the demand, and finally the soreness.  You won’t understand that until you experience it for yourself.  I chose to breastfed both of my babies, and both of their stories are very different.  Every baby is different from their needs to your supply.  I learned that you can schedule your baby’s feedings or feed them on demand.  I also learned a lot about myself and what my body is capable of doing.  I always recommend educating yourself, take a class on breastfeeding, understand why you are doing it.  There are so many resources on breastfeeding, and in my opinion it’s the best for your baby.  Just understand that it may not be “beautiful” like the pictures in your doctor’s office show, sometimes there are issues, and other times there are not.  Be patient and know your doing the best you can for your baby. 

            Breastfeeding Baby #1

I really did not know what to expect, but like I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I was expecting it to be magical and butterflies and rainbows.  It was nothing like that.  I came across a few obstacles when breastfeeding my son.  I couldn’t get my him to latch correctly so It caused me some pain and discomfort due to an improper latch.  So I decided to supplement in the first week until my milk officially came in, then my lactation consultant (LC) informed me I could use something called a “Nipple Shield” this really helped me and my son to have a better experience.  He was latching perfectly with the help of these shields.  Once I went home, he wanted to eat every hour.  I was up and down throughout the night and day.  I was told by my LC to feed him when he was hungry.  Of course I didn’t think that meant he would be hungry every hour.  I was tired, I was engorged, and overwhelmed.  My husband couldn’t really help me because I wasn’t pumping so it all fell on me to feed him throughout the night.  I was growing impatient and started to feel like maybe this wasn’t a good choice for me. 

            After the second week I was getting the hang of things, of not getting sleep, and feeding on demand.  At three months he was sleeping through the night, which meant engorgement.  I bought a manual breast-pump that took me forever to pump out my milk and he didn’t like drinking from the bottle.  So I would have to wake him to feed him because I was in so much pain.  Eventually this passed (at six months) and I wanted to stop.  His pediatrician recommended me to go the full year.  So I listened, things got easier we stopped using the shield and I felt like a breastfeeding champ! 🙂

            Once we hit the one year mark, I didn’t want to stop. I felt sad that I had to quit.   I started weaning him at 12 months by introducing him to whole milk and then he completely stopped at 14 months.  This was an amazing journey of transformation for me.  I experienced everything with my son, and he really seen me at my finest hour of impatience.  We learned together and today he is as healthy as can be and our bond is still amazing.  I like to believe breastfeeding had something to do with this. 🙂

            Breastfeeding baby #2

My second baby was a breeze!! What a relief! Her first feeding she latched right on with no problem.  She would eat every two hours and I did not have to supplement with formula my milk was released within a few days.  Since I did not have an epidural or any drugs with my daughter, I felt like my body healed faster with my second child I knew what exactly what to do.  I felt calm and at ease when breastfeeding her.  I had more patience and I think it showed in my supply. 

            At the three month mark she starting cutting teeth in which I started using shields because she would bite me and would cause some bleeding.  She grew fond of the shields so I began using them indefinitely.  She was eating every two or three hours and I tried to keep her on a schedule.  Since I had a busy toddler at home, I didn’t want to take the responsibility of feeding her on demand whenever she wanted.  So I created a schedule for her eating habits.  At five months I introduced her to oatmeal cereal and a few solids, so in between her meals she would have breast-milk.  This made it a lot easier on me I was still in demand, but it was scheduled so I was more relaxed.

            With my daughter I decided to go an entire year.  She is now 12 months and we are still going strong.  Of course I want to wean her, but I really want her to wean on her own.  Right now she basically breastfeeds at night to sleep.  I think at this point she is breastfeeding for comfort.  I have introduced her to whole milk, she likes it, but still wants to breastfeed at times. 

            So there’s my journey.  It’s been an interesting experience full of emotions and the occasional stress but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  Just remember that breastfeeding is not easy and you are really sacrificing your body for your baby’s needs.  You may experience issues in the beginning so having a strong support system is so important while breastfeeding.  If you have questions make sure to consult a LC for additional resources and assistance.  Remember that you are doing a great job, and it’s not for everyone don’t feel bad if you cannot breastfeed; you’re doing your best for you and your baby!

            Thanks for stopping by mommies! Enjoy the rest of World Breastfeeding Week, share with other mommies out there so together we can strive for mommy success!

For additional information on breastfeeding, you can visit La Leche League, here’s the link: http://www.llli.org/

XOXO,

Reina

Photo Courtesy of Jezebel.com

    I recently read an article about the regrets of being a Stay-At-Home-Mom.  The article was posted on Huffington Post and was actually posted by a mom,  immediately seeing the title, I wanted to hate it and hate her at the same time.  In reality, She wrote this as a reflection of her experience over the years, it was really interesting to see her point of view of being a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) and how she had regrets about the decision and the negative impact it had in her life.  It was a very honest piece of work, I mean to really sit down, reflect, and honestly tell yourself you have regrets, is deep.  Many people cannot or will not admit that to themselves let alone to millions of people.  On the internet.   I really wanted to share this because I understand how hard it is to be a mother let alone a Stay-at-home-mom.  It’s so demanding and oftentimes overwhelming.  I also wanted to share my personal reflection of all the reasons I love being a stay-at-home-mom.  My experience in my life thus far is that you have to be content NOW because if your miserable in your decisions, life is still going to pass you by regardless of how you feel. Here are a few reasons why I love being a Stay-at-home-mom.

            First of all, This article really allowed me to reflect on my own life and decisions I have made for myself and my family.  After reading the post, I felt overwhelmed, sad, disappointed, and ultimately wondering if eventually I will become “outdated”, or feel the way she did years later.  I think naturally we all have regrets in life, but I can honestly say that being at home with my kids has made me a better person and I can sit back and say, “WOW! That was the best decision I ever made”.  My kids after my husband and God, are the most important people in my life.  I treasure my moments with them, because life is short, and I am blessed to be home with them watching them grow and learn is my truly my life’s pleasure.  I can’t tell the future, because I can’t.  But I only hope that as time passes and my kids grow that I will remain content with the decisions I have made as a mom.  Ultimately, this article made me think that sometimes we have to make decisions that we are not happy with due to circumstances, but for me personally I never knew my true calling as a person/woman until I had kids.  Staying at home helped me unlock a passion I never thought I had.  Something I never imagined doing.  I also have had the privilege of enhancing my son’s early childhood education here at home.  It’s been an amazing experience full of many emotions that are way too many to list.  So this post actually made me realize just how lucky I am to feel the way I do about my job as A Stay-At-Home-Mom. 

            Being a SAHM was a decision my husband and I made based on many different factors.  From childcare and the financing that comes with it and to teaching and guiding our kids in the direction we felt was best.  It has been the most difficult job I’ve ever had, full of never ending days and nights but, I can honestly say that this is the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.  I can only hope throughout my journey as a mom that I can continue to share positive stories with other moms out there.  It’s a tough job and it comes with many sacrifices and tons of dedication.  Ultimately you have to be happy with the choices you made/make, and continue to thrive as a stay-at-home-mom.  You can still be fabulous, educated, and have goals while raising a family.   The sky is the limit, just remember to enjoy the rides along the way.

            Thanks for stopping by, for more posts like this one connect with me today.  SO together we can continue to strive for mommy success! 🙂

XOXO,
Reina

Here’s the article if you want to check it out 🙂 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/grown-and-flown/why-i-regret-being-a-stay-at-home-mom_b_3402691.html

Photo courtesy of Dailymom.com

             As many of you know, I am a breastfeeding advocate.  I love all things breastfeeding! However, I also understand that there are some who are discouraged by breastfeeding after six or even 12 months.  Both of my kids are breastfed babies, while I decided to wean my son off the breast at 12 months, he completely weaned around 14 months.  I was ready for him to completely stop breastfeeding at exactly 12 months, because I was exhausted from it! But my handsome son had a different idea in mind.  So do you agree, disagree, or indifferent to extended breastfeeding? I know that this time around my ideas are a little different than I anticipated.  Here’s my thoughts.

           I feel like the topic of extending breastfeeding grosses out many people.  Babies have teeth, they are too old, there are no longer any benefits for a toddler to breastfeed, and it causes bone density for women.  While I did agree with this in the beginning, until I conducted my own research on the matter.   There are still actually many benefits to nursing your toddler after the age of one.  It’s really all about what you can handle and what you think is best.  In most cases, babies usually wean themselves, they will tell you when they want to stop or if they don’t.  Breastfeeding is a soothing mechanism for many babies, my daughter still wakes up at night to nurse, even if she is not hungry.  I also found a great article on BabyCenter.com that extending breastfeeding can in fact be beneficial for your toddlers health, and your own. It can also help prevent some illnesses for both you and baby, including lowering the risks of breast and ovarian cancer for women (Babycenter.com, 2013). 

        Another article I found to be interesting on Parenting.com states that extended breastfeeding helps your toddler’s behavior.  It’s interesting to see different pros and cons of this topic, however I think one of the major cons in this matter are other people’s opinions.  We really worry what others will say or think about it.  My pediatrician told me at my daughter’s 12 month appointment that I already exceeded his expectations by going the full year.  Anything after that is up to me, however he will not discourage me from it, because it will assist in my baby’s health and help fight off different illnesses.  It’s also a great way for mommy to stay healthy, to eat right, and keep a balanced diet.  Again, it’s whatever you want for your baby and yourself. It’s your choice. 

       In a perfect world, I like to think that breastfeeding is just like weaning your baby from a bottle or pacifier.  It takes time.  Just like some babies drink the bottle until they are three or even four, people are going to judge you on every decision you make.  Whatever you decide is obviously what you believe to be the best thing for you and your baby or toddler.  Just remember that every baby/toddler adapts differently to weaning from these things, we are just trying and doing our best.  Do not be discouraged mommies.

       Thanks for stopping by, I love to hear your thoughts and feedback on these issues.  Share my blog and posts with other mommies out there, we need to help encourage and motivate each other to strive for mommy success! 🙂

Here are the articles in my post if you want to check them out:

http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-extended-breastfeeding—-handling-the-criticism

http://www.babycenter.com/0_extended-nursing-is-it-for-you_8496.bc

Top photo: My son Isaac and I
Bottom Photo: My daughter Jocelyn and I

Today my daughter is one! I know, where did the time go? It’s been such an amazing first year with her the love in my heart has expanded and I love her so much.  The bond between mother and daughter is something so special and I didn’t know it until now.  I have had the pleasure to watch her grow and learn new things, and I am looking forward to many more years to come.   She is such an amazing little girl full of energy, she’s so happy all the time and is such a joy to have around.  Although this year has been full of challenges raising a toddler and infant so close in age, It’s also been an amazing experience for me.  I never knew how strong of a woman I was until now, it takes so much out of you to be there for them, waking up at night, breastfeeding, potty training and everything else that comes with it.  Now as my daughter is close to turning one,  I feel like I finally have a schedule down that works for everyone.  My son is a great big brother, he helps me and he cannot wait for her to walk so they can play.  It’s a great feeling as a mother to see them grow and laugh together.  Siblings are so important and I am so happy my kids get to share that bond. Here is what I learned my first year as a second time mommy.

            With the second child comes experience.  I have heard many people say, “The first child is the Guinea Pig” and even though I never thought it was true, it really is.  When you’re a first time mom, you just don’t know what to expect or what to do.  You learn as you go, there isn’t a manual or guide to follow.  As soon as you take the baby home the nurses do not come with you.  With my daughter I knew what to do as soon as she was born and when I brought her home.  Everything was a lot easier the second time around, experience wise.  Of course there were other challenges, like balancing the two kids, making sure I was spending enough time with my son so he didn’t feel left out.  I also found myself to be more patient with my daughter, with my son I was so exhausted that I couldn’t think and I was very irritable.  Waking up the second time around wasn’t as bad as I remember the first time. 

            So what’s my advice here?  Having two little ones is all about balance, you need to make time for both kids.  So how do I do it? Well basically I got a schedule down and had a goal and idea of what I wanted for my household and kids, it’s pretty easy but it takes time to get it down, (at least it did for me).   Everything I did with my daughter was completely different from what I did with my son because I knew what to expect, I don’t have to call the doctor for every little cough or sneeze.  It’s a great because I feel so confident as a mother now, I feel like I grew and matured as a mom overnight and it’s awesome.  Now I see my son growing and wanting to help and be included in whatever I am doing.  It’s great to see him eager to help me, and I try my best to encourage him as often as possible to do things around the house or for his little sister.  I’ve learned so much about myself over the last year, and I would like to tap myself on the back because I managed and both my kids are alive and well 🙂 So don’t be discouraged mommies, you can do it too! It just takes a fine balance and time to learn and everything else will fall into place. 

            Thanks for stopping by, and remember to share my blog with other mommies.  We have to use each others’ experiences and stories because motherhood is a journey, us women/mommies have to stick together so we can strive mommy success!

Top Photo: Thank You Bowl
Bottom Left: Center Piece jars
Bottom Right: Hand Made goodie bags! 🙂

  Birthday Parties are full of fun, from the decorations to games and cake.  However, sometimes for a one year old they are everything but fun.  It’s easy for your little one to get overwhelmed with birthday parties, especially if they are not around a lot of people every day.  I think that when it comes to the first birthday party, the parents are more excited! 🙂 I have been planning my daughter’s birthday for months now.  It’s been such a blast! This is my first daughter so everything is so new to me.  Although for my son’s birthday’s I do go all out, but I have learned how to be more effective when Birthday Party Planning. Depending on your theme or what you are planning to do it takes a lot of effort and money.  I am going to share a few things I did to help make planning easy and cost efficient. 

            Get Organized: Since I am very detailed oriented, I like notes, reminders, and schedules to help me plan events and without them I am lost.  This has helped me a lot in my planning process for example, I have a notebook where I write down my ideas and guest list.  This is very helpful because it helps me keep track of people coming to the party.  I also created a file on my computer for ideas I had for decorations, invites, and cake.  This helps give me a picture of what I want. 

           Do-it-yourself projects:  These are great ideas for parties and are really cost efficient, just remember that these projects can be time consuming and may cost you if you are lacking supplies.  My husband created the invitations for the party, and to print and mail them was $30.00.  They came out super cute and were very inexpensive.  Another thing is to make your own “goodie bags”.  I went to party city and I bought White and Pink plain gift bags, $10.00 each and I decorated them with stickers, ribbon, and Card Stock paper.  I also made different bags for boys and girls.   You can also make your own centerpieces, most of the supplies for this I was able to get at the Dollar tree.  I also used Card Stock paper to help design the jars I bought this paper at Michael’s for $3.00.   Most of my ideas were from Pinterest and Etsy, I just put my own spin on the idea to make it my own.  In total for decorations and invitations, I spent about $80.00. 

            Food: When your hosting an event food is always important.  There are plenty of ways to stretch your buck and have great food at the same time.  I ordered Sandwiches by the foot from Wal-Mart, they are only $28.00 and they come prepared with meat and cheese condiments come on the side.  You can also make your side dishes rather than buying them, this is great especially if you are going to have more than thirty people, and you will spend less at the checkout. Wal-Mart also has a nice bakery, where they will prepare specialty cakes for you and they are very inexpensive starting at $48.00 for a tier cake.  You can order whatever you want or can afford. 

            Games and Prizes: I always like to have games for the kids that attend my parties.  You can do simple games, from pin the tail on the donkey, musical chairs, races, or water balloon tosses.  Whichever you chose make it fun and exciting for the kids involved.  This year for my daughter’s party I am doing a water balloon toss, and 3 leg race.  I went a bought some small yet cute prizes.  I am also going to print blank pictures of her and have a “coloring station” for the kids. 

            Whatever you decide to do, just make sure to enjoy the process.  Remember your child’s birthday only comes once a year.  It’s exciting but it can also come with stress, stay calm and try to relax.  Reach out for help if and when you need it and do your best for your kids.  If possible, always try to plan events in advance, when you do this it really helps alleviate some of your stress.  I am attaching some pictures of things I made and I will make sure to post some pictures on my facebook page of the party. 

            Thanks for stopping by mommies, share your story by connecting with my here on my blog or on facebook.  So that together we can strive for mommy success! 🙂

Thank you to those who have served and are still serving for our freedom. We are so blessed to live in this amazing country. We have the liberties to educate, empower, and motivate others through our freedom. God Bless America!

           Happy Birthday USA!  I want to start off by personally saying; I am so blessed and thankful to live in this wonderful country.  Today I really honor those who served and have served to support our freedom.  This is one of the first major holidays of the summer (other than Father’s Day in June) and our kids love all the excitement that comes with it.  This is the first year that my son actually understands what holidays and celebrations are all about, and it’s super exciting to watch him light up.  I really wanted to teach him the importance of our Independence without overwhelming him. Even if you’re not the most patriotic person in the world, here are some tips on toddler fun for the 4Th. 

            One simple thing you can teach them is explaining the flag and teaching them the pledge of allegiance. We counted the stars and stripes on the flag, while I briefly explained the meaning.  The pledge of allegiance is something that kids learn in school, but I thought I would start a little early.  I bought a small flag and pinned it up so he could see the flag when we were saying the pledge.  My son also loves to sing, so I decided to You Tube American Patriotic songs, like America the beautiful, This Land, and The National Anthem.  He really liked this, you can have this music playing in the background while your child is working on something, or playing.                  

Here is the hat my son and I made, he wouldn’t take it off last night! It was a lot of fun! 🙂

          I love crafts! I know I have said this before but it’s a great tool for kids to learn different skills while doing them.  So of course, I also did a simple little craft with my son for the 4th.   I went online for a little inspiration, but couldn’t find anything that I liked or that was really toddler friendly.  I seen one of my neighbors with a little hat that had stars on it for the 4th, I loved it and decided to put my twist on it with the tools I already had.  We decided to call it the “liberty Hat”.  Tools you will need are construction paper, Red, white, and blue, glue, stapler, and markers.  You can dress it up whichever way you please, but sometimes simple can go a long way.  My son loves to use glue, so this was a really fun craft for him.  It took about 25 minutes total to prepare and complete.  You can see the picture to the side that it is very simple, we also made one for my 11 month old daughter so she wouldn’t feel left out 🙂

            Well mommies I hope that these tips helped enhance your independence day fun with your toddlers.  I know that Sometimes it can be difficult to find new and innovative ways to keep your kids entertained, so I am here to help and guide moms everywhere through my experiences to use their creative sides a little more! Let’s not forget why we celebrate this holiday, and now as parents it’s our job to teach our little ones and have fun in the process!

            I hope your day is filled with fun, food, and lots of fireworks! Remember to share my blog with other mommies, so together we can keep striving for mommy success!

Introducing Guest Blogger Melissa Wheeler-Vega. She’s a teacher, mom, and wife who is leading her children’s path to educational success!

  Guest Blogger Fridays are here! Today we are going to discuss some quick steps on how to educate your child.  Melissa Wheeler Vega, teacher, mom, and wife is going to share some great tips and advice (from the teacher’s perspective) on how to get active in your child’s education.   Thank you Melissa for joining us on Successfulmommyadvice.com!  Here are the questions parents really want to know, and need to hear in order to help their kids succeed; both in and out of school.

Melissa, thanks again for coming on as a guest blogger.  As a teacher and parent, What are some of the biggest misconceptions about a child’s grades and GPA, why is this so important at a young age?

One misconception many parents have is that grades are the only indicator of a child’s intelligence. This is incorrect, because children must learn how to be “good test takers.”  Children may know the content but the test format or test question can mislead them. This is why it is important to teach your child Test Taking Strategies.  Teaching them the “skills,” of test taking can increase their GPA because they have learned how to apply their knowledge of the content and have become a better test taker.

Awesome response to the question.  I never realized the importance of test taking and the strategies behind it.  So let’s begin with the next question, What are some tips or advice you have for parents when it comes to educating their children?

            One good tip I can give parents about teaching their child is to incorporate learning in everyday life scenarios. This way the learning is disguised and the child doesn’t feel like  they are learning all the time. So have your child write the grocery list or manage their own money. I like to use subtraction stories when we are talking about how many days left until we go on vacation or until Christmas. Take that opportunity with your child and embrace each “teachable moment,” in your child’s day.

Interesting way to look at education, kids are very sensitive to learning they learn something new every day.  I agree with your “teachable moments” It’s important to grasp every aspect of your time and the day.  So, Do you see a difference in children when their parents are doing their parts at home, how?

            Responsibility at home will roll over in the classroom! If the child is taught responsibility   at home they will be a more responsible student in the classroom, in return, getting better    grades. These students are responsibly finishing their assignments and feel their own  learning is their own responsibility. It builds stronger students! Especially with the big   class numbers, teachers are expecting children to become responsible earlier.  Do your child a favor and instill in them the importance of responsibility, it can be a skill that will help them thrive in life.

Responsibility in my opinion is super important regardless of age.  They need to understand independence and how it impacts them even when they are younger.  My son has daily chores and responsibilities, I think that this has taught him to be more independent over the last year.   How do you encourage parents to stay or get active in their children’s education?

            Telling parents the facts on how much their influence in their child’s education can be  encouraging enough for some parents. The outcome when a parent is involved in their child’s education can be amazing! However not every parent believes they have the time to be involved as much as they would want to be. I usually give my busy parents two  simple ways they can be involved in their child’s education.

1.     Communicate with Teacher

            Email is the best way now to communicate, and it’s fast and easy for both parties.  A quick email here and there lets your child and the teacher know you care about their education.

2.     Homework Policy

            By knowing what their teacher’s homework policy it makes sure everyone knows the  expectations. Require your children to finish their homework so it relays the importance of homework in their education. Children who do homework get better grades. Many parents don’t have time to sit down with their child to help them, but try just checking their work when they complete it. By knowing what their homework is you will be more aware what they are learning in the classroom.

            Here it is successful mommies, directly from a teacher/mom.   I think what I took away from this interview is that school and education begins at home with YOU.  As parents its our job to focus on what their needs, weaknesses, and strengths.  Melissa, these tips you provided us with are priceless, I know that I will take this advice with me as begin my journey in education for my children.  Looking forward to hearing from you again. 

            Thanks for stopping by and remember to share this blog with other mommies out there.  We need to support each other so together we can continue to strive for mommy success!