As a mom of 4 kids people often ask me, “how do you do it all” Well I don’t always know what to say other than it comes with many challenges.  I have been married to my wonderful husband for 7 years and we’ve been together for almost 12.  It’s been a crazy journey with 4 amazing kids to show for.  I am blessed to be his wife.  I love being a wife.  I never thought I would ever say that.  As a young girl, I always dreamed about getting married, but I never truly knew what that meant (other than the fancy dress and big party), but it’s so much more than that.

 

Every morning I wake up, make my husband his coffee and see him off to work.  It’s something that is important to me and for my children to see the level of respect and love I hold for their father.  I want them to know what he means to me, and that before them; it was him.  Although it’s not always easy, he comes first.  I love my kids. They are everything to me.  My greatest gift is being their mom, but my husband is just as significant.

 

Our marriage is the glue that holds this family together.  It’s what keeps us going, and without that my kids and our family unit will be broken. As many of us may know what a broken home feels like I will work overtime to work on my marriage every day.

 

Keeping a marriage doesn’t come easy, or so I am learning. It takes a lot of work and communication being the most important.

 

Here are 6 tips to better communicate in your marriage as a busy parent.

 

1. Make time for each other.

 

This is not always easy to accomplish with 4 kids under the age of 10 running around.  Schedules are crucial to make this happen.  Get the kids to bed early and make time at night for you and husband. Whether you want to talk about your day or your planning an upcoming event.  It’s nothing like making time for one another.

 

2. Talk freely about any negative feelings

 

Let’s face it, marriage is not always rainbows and butterflies.  You’re going to have negative feelings toward your spouse or relationship, and your feelings are valid.  But it’s always best to go to the source with your feelings before anyone else.   We all have that one best girlfriend we tell our deepest darkest secrets to, and that’s all fine but this are somethings that you should tell him and him alone.

 

3. Accept constructive criticism

 

This is probably the hardest things for me to acknowledge.  Hearing negative things about yourself can be difficult. But if your partner is saying something that may benefit you or for your family, it’s worth making a change or listening to.

4. Listen Effectively

Turn off the phones and get rid of the distractions, when he talks make sure you listen and vice versa. It’s crucial to take an interest in what they are saying and open your mind to really hear him. Even if your exhausted from your busy days.

 

5. Schedule weekly meetings

 

Every Sunday night my husband and I take time to go over our budget, weekly schedules, and upcoming events.  This helps us to remain on the same page and that we both know what’s going on in our lives. Even though we’re married we still live separate lives.  He works full time outside of the home, and I work full time in the home.  That includes PTA meetings, bible studies, and events for the kids.  It’s important to communicate about our daily lives.

 

We share the finances and I take full responsibility for our budget and everything that pertains to the household.  It has been a real asset to talk about these things to better manage our finances.

 

6. When all else fails, know when to get help

Sometimes there isn’t always a solution.  These are some tips that I have found to work in my own marriage.  Now that doesn’t mean it will work for you.  Know when to get help before causing any true damage to your marriage.  There are so many ways to reach out, such as marriage counseling, prayer groups, or marriage retreats.  It’s always best to find what works for you.

 

 

 

Remember, you’re a team and for your marriage to succeed you need to be completely honest and open with each other.  That isn’t always easy and can take a lot of patience and time.  Sometimes this isn’t easy to do with kids, believe me I understand that.  Keeping your kids on a routine helps to set time apart for you and your partner.