There’s one stage that a lot of parents dread more than any other. Yes, more than nappies, more than weaning, more than potty training! The thing that every parent hopes to keep away for as long as possible is, of course, the teen years. Sadly there’s nothing you can do; your child is going to turn into a teenager eventually! When people think about raising a teenager, their minds are inevitably filled with images of rebellion, angst, arguments, and attitude. And the first thing that you need to come to terms with is that you probably have all of those things in store for you. The only thing that you can do is to decide how you’re going to deal with those things when they happen. Your not-so-little one is going through a lot of changes, and you need to be able to help them walk that adolescent tightrope as best you can. So here are some things that you can do to help support your teenager without losing all control.
Don’t think you can parent in the same way anymore
Your son or daughter is changing. Sometimes they change so much that they’re practically unrecognizable from even a year or two ago. But this doesn’t just apply to them physically. The way that they see the world and how they feel about it are all going to undergo some serious radical changes. They’re going to start questioning things more. Wondering why things are the way they are. They’re going to want more independence, and they’re going to start feeling more like an adult. All of this means that if you keep trying to parent them in the same way that you did when they were younger, they’re going to find it frustrating and stifling. You’re going to end up getting frustrated at their lack of responsiveness to what you’re saying. You need to come to terms with the fact that it’s time to stop treating your children like… well, like children! Try to understand them on their own terms. It might be time to start giving them a little extra trust and freedom. If you try to keep them under your wing, then they’re going to end up feeling resentful and are more likely to try and rebel.
Have the difficult conversations.
A lot of the changes that your child is going through are going to be extremely strange and scary to them. As they go through puberty, they’re going to come up against a lot of things that they’ve never even thought about before. They’re going to start having to consider what it means to be an adult and all the responsibilities that come with that. They’re going to need someone to guide them through and support them as they face these hurdles. That’s where you come in. You should always make sure that your children know that they can always come to you with any issue. One of the biggest worries that parents of teenagers have is when they start to become interested in other people romantically. This is pretty inevitable and something you’re probably just going to have to come to terms with, as difficult as that can be. The most important thing is that you show them as much support as possible. Without that then there’s a much greater chance that they’ll make bad decisions. It’s your job to offer them guidance and help them make good choices. This applies to things like drugs, alcohol, and safe-sex. Make sure that they’re always safe; you can even order the contraceptive pill online if they are worried about going to a doctor for it. You might not like it, but there is always the chance they’ll be exposed to those things, and you just need to make sure that they’re informed.
Trust them
With all of the adult things that your kids will end up being exposed to this can be really difficult. But here’s the truth: your kids are going to make mistakes. They are going to do things that you don’t necessarily want them to. But the important thing for you is to make sure that you’re always there for them no matter what. Putting your faith in them to make the right decisions is a really important step towards them becoming happy, independent adults. If you’ve done your job right then they’ll be able to come out of their teen years well adjusted and grateful for your love and care.