Someone recently asked me: “what is your parenting style”? I really didn’t know how to answer that question, I didn’t realize that there was an actual “style” on how to parent your children? I’ve always taken bits and pieces of things I like and sometimes dislike and put them all together.  Maybe that’s wrong? Well I think your style depends on you; what do you like, what do your kids like, and what works best.  So I did a little research on the topic to find out some of the more popular and conventional styles out there. 

            We’ve all heard of detachment and attachment parenting which are basic parenting styles, For more on these styles check out this link: http://prezi.com/1rgi-pwurf-v/the-effects-of-attachment-parenting-compared-to-detachment-parenting-on-children/  However According to Child Development Daily via About.com these styles go a little deeper than we thought and our style is psychological. It can go back to the ways we were raised, basically whatever we do directly affect our kids.  Every now and again it’s important to evaluate ourselves as parents to decide what type of child we want to raise and ultimately what type of parent we want to be.  It’s hard because there’s no guarantee, these are just guidelines for us parents.  We will make mistakes and hopefully correct them along the way. 

            Here are the four classic styles of parenting I am going to give a brief description of each one in my own terminology. 

The Authoritarian Parent

            This parent instills a lot of strict rules and guidelines for their children.  So I imagine that each child has a massive amount of chores and if they do not complete them on time they are punished for it.  While I do strongly agree with parents giving their children chores, I also think there are boundaries to it as well.  They are not slaves, they still are kids.  According to About.com, these kids grow up to be very obedient and however are lacking expression in social competence and self esteem and may not be as “happy”. 

The Authoritative Parent

            Although the Authoritative parent instills rules and guidelines for their kids, they also are very engaged in conversation and communication with their children.  They are open to discussion and according to About.com, they are more nurturing and forgiving rather than having a strict punishment.  I really like this style of parenting, because you get the best of both worlds.  You are teaching your child independence and responsibility however emphasizing the importance of communication.  I have noticed a really big difference in my son and even my one and a half year old daughter how they respond when I communicate to them, rather than just punish (example would be to place them in time out without an explanation).  They won’t understand what they did wrong. Another thing I like is forgiveness.  My faith teaches me to be forgiving, and when your kids do something “bad” you need to reprimand them and then get over it.  It’s not ideal (in my opinion) to keep bringing it up, especially to little ones who do not quite understand it.  Communication is key in any relationship and that includes parenting. 

The Permissive parent

            Ahh the Permissive parent, they are very lenient according to the site this parent takes on more of a friend role than a parent.  I think we need to respect our kids and ultimately they need to respect us.  I try to think back to when I was a kid and even as a teen what I would have liked from my own parents, or what I did not like and I try to take that into my own parenting style.  I don’t agree with the idea of being your child’s friend (I know I’m getting lots of mean mugs for this) But I think that only confuses the kid.  Are you mom or BFF? They confuse the relationship and they don’t know how to respond to you because they are unsure of your role (just my opinion, don’t shoot me LOL). So how does this affect your child? They tend to perform poorly in school and experience problems with authority.   

Uninvolved Parenting

            This is basically a parent who lets their child raise themselves. They are very uninvolved or emotionally inclined to their children.  Sometimes they even reject or step away from the needs of their child…Need I say more? These kids grow up with very low self esteem and are less competent than their peers (About.com).   

            I really wanted to post about this topic because I don’t think you need to be in a specific category of parenting.  If you are anything like me, you understand that you are an imperfect parent and you will do what works best for you and your circumstances.  Regardless of what style you lean towards, parenting is HARD!! You have kids with different personalities and ideas and you have to keep up with them along with educating and entertaining their minds.  It’s TOUGH and never ending. 

            You can follow all the rules and styles you want, at the end of the day everything depends on you and your child.  I read all the books with my first born, I followed the “rules” to parenting and things took a turn when he started to grow. 

            Do your best and commit the rest that’s all you can do as a parent.  You can adapt these styles if it’s your plan, but sometimes things don’t go according to plan.  Just be the best YOU that you can be.  I think that in the end that’s what you want to be able to tell your kids, they will love and appreciate you for your imperfections. 

            You can decide which type of parent you are or wish to be by reading more at: http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm  I found it very resourceful and there are additional links at the bottom of the page. 

            Thanks for stopping by mommies, you can comment and leave me your thoughts and feedback below.  Be sure to share my blog with other mommies out there, so that together we can strive for mommy success!

XOXO,

Reina