Regression in preschoolers and toddlers is considered to be a normal thing.  Usually this can happen when some life changing event occurs.  In my case, it’s my third pregnancy.  During this pregnancy  I have faced many challenges.  Despite the fact that I am already constantly in demand with my two (very active) children, my body is also working around the clock.  My kids are very busy and full of energy.  Having them close in age has it’s benefits because they have each other to play with however now my daughter is starting to pick up on my sons behavior,(not all of them are the good habits) sometimes it feels like they are ganging up on me. 

Sounds crazy?

They are two and four?

How could they possibly do that to a grown mother?

Honestly I never thought it to be possible either.  One of the main reasons is they sense your vulnerability and frustrations and use it to their advantage.  They are really smart these kids, they know what to do and when to do it.

         So how did they regress? I will share a few things that I am currently dealing with along with some tips on how to manage preschooler and toddler regressions during pregnancy, from my personal experience.   

 

 

Old Habits Die Hard:    My son used to act out with these awful tantrums.  He would hit, bang, or throw himself on the ground.  This was His way of dealing with those emotions and frustrations inside of him.  For a while it stopped (one of the happiest days of my life) then once I found out I was pregnant with baby number three, they magically returned…. with a vengeance! Now my daughter is catching on and realizing that if she behaves the same way my son does, she will grab my attention the way he does.  It’s been a very difficult battle and I have tried these things to help him, my daughter, and me from repeating the same thing over again. 

How to handle:

• Ignore the bad behavior and always praise the good.  I think that this goes back to parenting basics.  But it’s so easy to focus on what they are doing bad, and ultimately you end up sounding like a broken record and they stop listening.  My son taunts me, he will do it even though I told him not to, and he will laugh about it.  It’s like he is not taking me seriously. 
• Be firm with them and don’t threaten them. I have noticed my kids don’t respond too well to threats so instead of using the “scare tactics” just do it.  If you tell them no once and they do not listen, make them do it.  I take something away (toys, instruments, and other toys they like).  When I take their things away, I show them something else to distract them.  Once their behavior changes, they have the ability to earn their toys back. 

This sounds exhausting, I know but if you are consistent (the hardest part of it all), they will respond and it takes time.  Try to remember that the results may not appear immediately. 

 

Too Much TV:     Let’s face it; the mommy duties never end, and sometimes I need to distract my kids with the TV to get things done.  Obviously I don’t want them glued to the tube, but things need to get done.  I have realized the effect this has had on both my toddler and preschooler, so I decided to take it away and monitor their TV time.  My son recently has become more interested in Disney movies.  He started watching “Lilo and Stitch” and I noticed that he began to mock Lilo’s behavior in the movie.  Using words like:

“you never”

“no I don’t want to”

and “go away”.

All things he picked up from the movie.  Now I need to explain to him the difference between a movie a real life.  He was mocking the defience in the movie with me! I couldn’t stand it.  So I took it away and now he is back to watching mater and Cars.

According to the Association of Behavior in Pediatrics, TV affect the sleep patterns for children under the age of three years.  Check out the article for more, here: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/116/4/851.long

 

How to Handle:

• I Monitor TV time to 30 minutes or an hour throughout the day.  I divide the time up.  So 30 minutes in the morning and 30 in the evening usually before bedtime. 
• Extra TV time is earned according to their behavior.  I use a sticker chart, (chore chart) I have shown this in my previous posts as well.  This helps them to stay motivated to pick up toys and ultimately to stay busy.  I noticed when they are busy the tantrums and other behavior issues subside. 
• Don’t give in!  I have to remind myself to stay on the TV schedule,  Especially being at home at home all day the easiest thing to do is turn the TV on.  Rather than TV I turn on music and have them sing or dance.  This really encourages my kids, my son and daughter are both very musically inclined. 

 

Preschool and Fine Motor skills:  My son is in a part-time preschool class.  He is learning to write his name, letters, numbers, and following directions.  Initially I was able to leave him this two hour class and use that time to spend with my daughter or even run errands.  Now, I can’t leave him.  He won’t let me.  He is defiant towards the teacher and ultimately she can’t handle his behavior.  I stayed at the school the other day and peeked in the window to watch him.  He was getting up and down, tapping on everything, and being very disruptive.  Part of the problem is that the teacher is irritated with him and ultimately has other kids to focus on.  My son is used to the one on one time because I do that with him.  I have learned that maybe I am coddling him too much and he needs to feel more independent when it comes to school work. 

 

         For toddlers, my daughter is actually progressing in her fine motor skills and development.  She is and has met every milestone thus far. Probably because she has the example from her big brother.  She is interested in coloring, painting, and books.  This is just her personality and she gets it.  Again, not every child is the same. 

 

How to Handle:

• Explain their homework/classwork to them walk away and come back in a few seconds to check in.  Always remember to encourage them. It’s not a race and every child develops at different paces.  Don’t rush them.  When I do this he will get distracted and start looking around and doing other things.  Don’t hold their pencils/crayons for them when they are writing or coloring.  Show them and then let them fly. 
• Make it fun.  I use flashcards to help my son learn the alphabet.  He doesn’t always recogonize the letters because he is unable to correlate it to something he likes.  For instance, he loves music and instruments (classical music is his favorite) so when teaching him the letters I try to use instruments that start with that letter. “T” is for Tamborine.  “C” is for Crash symbol. Doing this has helped him not only memorize it, but write it as well.
• Encourage your toddler and preschooler to do work.  When my son sits to do his homework, my daughter sits with him.  I give her paper and crayons and let her work.  This is actually good for my son to see that it’s quiet homework time. 
• Do homework at the same time every day.  I do homework right before dinner.  They are sitting at the table while I am cooking. I turn everything off, and if he gets distracted I sit with him and have him show me what he learned. 

 

Extra Energy:   Both of my kids are really active, keeping up with them can be really exhausting (especially being 30 weeks pregnant).  I have to find new ways to keep them entertained throughout the day.  Now that our schedules are busier (with preschool and soccer).  It’s starting to die down and I need to get creative.

How to handle

• Take walks.  We take our dog “Lily” for walks daily,I have my son take his wagon or bike so that he gets some of that energy from the day out of him.  He comes home tired and relaxed (most days).  I also have my daughter walk rather than pushing her in the stroller.  She also needs the exercise and to release that energy. 
• Get creative.  I use tuperwear totes fill them with water and other little toys (sponges, spoons, shovels, and other bath toys are great).  They splash water everywhere but this keeps them busy and they love it.  I also take chalk and have them color on the ground outside, this is something we do together.  Just some simple things to do at home when you have things to do. 
• Trips to the park. Although I don’t take them as often as I would like, this is great for them.  They love it and always come back tired and hungry.  I try to take them at least twice a week, but with the busy schedules it’s become more difficult. 
• Scavanger hunts.  I play I spy with my kids, teaching them about the things they see outside.  I have my son look for a green leaf, or rock.  My daughter is learning about the sun and trees this way.  It’s a great tool for them to learn and also get outside. 

 

         Remember not all kids regress during life’s transitions.  I noticed the changes in my kids almost immediately.  One thing I do is talk to them about the baby, I encourage them to sing and talk to the baby.  I believe it’s a normal thing for kids, my son went through this already but again he’s having a difficult time.  My daughter is just really attached to me.  She is only 21 months and still very much a baby and needs mommy in a different way than my son does. 

It hasn’t been an easy journey thus far, but nothing is easy.  Everything we do takes work and dedication.  I know that in the end things will turn out for the best and we will be back to our best behavior!

Thanks for stopping by, remember to keep sharing my blog so together we can strive for mommy success!!

 

Xoxo,

Reina