The key to a happy marriage…Who am I kidding! I don’t believe there is an exact science on how to make it in a marriage, nothing in life is 100 percent guaranteed.  Every couple is unique and has their own needs and identities.  After eight wonderful years with my husband I have learned a lot about myself and my marriage.  It’s the journey that makes it special, getting to know your partner and communicating through the good and bad times. 

Here are some tips to keep your marriage healthy through the years. 

Communication

This is at the top of the list because it’s the most important.  Many people think that communication is only talking about your feelings and letting out a therapy session to your partner. 

While this can be true, it’s also about communicating through bigger issues, this can be anything from finances to intimacy.  It’s so important that your partner hears from you what you’re feeling. 

Many people today share these intimate details on social media or with a best friend, tell your spouse first.  Hearing it from an outside source can be hurtful to the other person. 

Pick Your Battles

Who does the dishes or takes out the trash is a common argument in my home.  I have learned that it’s a team effort, and does it really matter who does it, as long as it gets done is what matters.  There are going to be so many issues to overcome in a marriage and these little fights are just not worth it. 

It’s always best to just let the little things go and focus on more complicated problems, if there are any of course. 

Sex

This probably should be at the top of the list, but this is coming from a wife so it’s number three.  Sex/intimacy is the most important thing to your husband, I won’t say all men but it matters to most. 

When you begin to raise a family and have small children running around, as a woman you tend to feel less attractive and more exhausted than ever before and making time  for sex just seems impossible. 

It’s important in a marriage to have a healthy sex life.  Don’t make it feel like a task, once it starts to feel that way, talk it out with your spouse and figure out what works best for you both. 

It’s not going to be easy but there are many ways to fix this, (follow my next post for more tips on this). 

Keep your own identity

Keep Your Own Identity

Being married for a long time you start to pick up some of your spouses tendancies and habits.  For example, I never used to really care for politics and economics, not something that is interesting to me. 

Since my husband is so intrigued by it I found myself doing the same.  Keep true to yourselves ladies, remember that you are still a woman before his wife and mother.  Do things that make you happy and pick up your own hobbies. Blogging has been a great opportunity for me to branch out and have my own space. 

It allows me to have my own ideas and creativity in a world that revolves around my family.  

When To Talk To a Therapist

Sometimes these things don’t work, and thats ok.  Acknowledging that and accepting it is an important part to getting help. 

Seeking a therapist and talking to someone to help your marriage can be a great tool.  Now there are many ways to communicate to a therapist or seek counseling. 

Online counseling can be an effective way to get through to someone right away or in an emergency.