Let’s face it, if you’re like me this isn’t your first rodeo.  You’ve done this before (twice to be exact) and now you know and understand a thing or two.  That doesn’t mean there aren’t hiccups along the way, it’s very difficult to manage your time and ability to do your normal activities; especially with two young kids running around all day (son is 4 and daughter is 20 months). It’s been a roller-coaster ride of emotional breakdowns, tears, and lots of frustration.  To top it off the baby isn’t even here yet! Yikes! I’m scared….I have 14 weeks left and I am really feeling unsure of myself and my capabilities as a mom.  My son is regressing in many ways and some of his old (Terrible two) behavior is returning and sometimes it’s a little too much for me to handle.  Still Feeling the regular aches, pains, and discomforts doesn’t describe this pregnancy at all.  Sometimes I feel totally disconnected, because I am so overwhelmed with everything else. 

            So how do I handle it all? I don’t have super powers and am a completely normal mother who breaks down most times.  Since I have done this before I know that these breakdowns and stress affect my little one growing inside of me.  If you’re going through or have gone through this, you probably understand perfectly.  I really had to sit back and ask myself a few questions, to help me understand the type of mother I want to be and the type of kids I want to have.  Sounds simple, right? Wrong! It was really hard, we are naturally so tough on ourselves and have to deal with so many daily things and making these decisions should come beforehand, and in most cases they do…but things change once that baby comes out. 

            In this post I just really wanted to share my personal experiences with you all, the questions I asked myself and how I am coping today with pregnancy the third time around and my evaluations as a mom.

 

 

Question #1: What are my hopes and dreams as a mom?

            We all have dreams of being the perfect mom, and I have found in my four years of being home and a mother to a very ambitions and energetic child that it’s impossible to be perfect.  There’s no such thing.  We do our best and commit the rest.  I have learned from this pregnancy that I cannot do it all.  Sometimes the house will be a mess and the so will the kids.  We still need rest and we tend to overdo it, at least I know I do.

             I hope that my kids one day will appreciate all I do for them, because I do a lot and I do it genuinely with all my heart.  All I ask from them is to respect me and their father.  They will only do that by watching us, I know that I have said it before that kids practice what they see and I still and will always believe it.  I only hope to teach my children to exercise their faith and use their energy for the greater good.  Sometimes when I feel I am failing my children, my son or daughter will do something amazing and it makes everything all worth it.  I don’t want to be perfect, I want to do my best.  I want to show my kids my unconditional love while teaching them discipline along the way. 

 

Question #2: Do I really need a strict schedule to plan my days?

            I am a big fan of schedules as many of you know from my previous posts.  I love scheduling and keeping as organized as possible and I have found first hand that it doesn’t work correctly without consistency.  Being at home is very monotonous and doing the same thing day in and day out is exhausting.  There are things I stick to which is bedtimes, meal times, and nap times (for my daughter because my son no longer naps).  This is important for our kids because it helps them behaviorally in many ways, from my experience.  Lack of sleep or nutritious foods can reflect in their behavior at home or school.  With busy kids the schedules won’t be perfect or always the same.  Sometimes we need to relax and just have fun and step away from chores, and the daily stuff.  I try to remind myself of this because I get so wrapped up in cleaning and organizing from fear of falling behind.  Ultimately it’s OK if you do, right now my goal is to enjoy this time with my kids as much as possible for the new addition arrives.  Sometimes taking a day off helps you in the rest of your week.  I have friends sometimes ask me, “If you’re a stay at home mom, why aren’t you ever home”? And honestly it’s because life is too short to be in the house all the time.  I like to take time off and away from home to be with my kids and watch them enjoy their youth and childhood.  So basically I feel schedules are super important, however they are not crucial to a successful day, sometimes we need a break in routine. 

 

Question #3: What are my aspirations of being at home, what do I wish to accomplish?

            I always envisioned myself a stay at home mom, and thanks to God that I was blessed to have this position.  When my son started acting out and regressing in a very aggressive way, I knew it had to be something I was (or wasn’t) doing for him to behave this way.  I had to be honest and really reflect on my own behavior and mannerisms here at home.  How do I react when he spills juice on my freshly clean floors? Sometimes I freak out and even yell at him.  If we as adults do this, I can only imagine how toddlers/preschoolers feel with their complete inabilities to communicate.

             I used to think…My goal is to have a clean house and well behaved kids at least the first time around.  That started to change quickly when I had my second child.  Although I like my house clean and organized I knew that I didn’t want to be a clean freak mom who cleaned all day.  I want to take time to read and teach my children, to help them think about things and watch them grow.  I really want to focus on their abilities to learn and how gifted they both are in different ways.  It’s fun and amazing to watch them figure things out and I want to be there to help them. 

            Not having my biological mother around really helped me to understand the kind of mother and woman I aspire to be.  I used that as an example and reminder that I can be better daily.  Education is super important to me, and it holds a very special place in my heart.  I know that I am not a licensed educator, but I am educating my kids and feel I am doing what I am supposed to.  Can my children and I improve? Of course there’s always room for improvement and I am always looking for ways to make education fun for them.  Just like I want to be an encouragement to all of you mommies, I also want to do the same for my kids.

 

Question #4: How can I continue to be a better mother?

            By educating myself and using my experience as well as others’ as an example.  I am constantly looking for ways to learn, by reading and researching different things.  I love to hear other moms’ stories/journeys.  My faith and relationship with God is a huge part of my life, without it/Him I am lost.  I dedicate time in the morning for devotionals and bible time to help me get through my day, it’s what works for me.  It encourages me to have a productive day along with realizing I cannot do it all and to take things one step at time.  When my kids are playing outside, I’ll sit down and watch them play while I read a book. 

            I read different parenting books along with books on success.  One thing I want my kids to see is me reading books.  I want to continue my personal education without being in a classroom.  Although I do plan to go back to school to continue my conventional education, right now it’s not in the cards for me and I have accepted that.  My role right now is to focus on my kids and parenting. 

 

            Being a mom is the toughest job I have ever had in my life! It’s a different type of work, that never ends and is full of rewards.  I have had many struggles as a mom but I think that is what makes us stronger for our kids.  Personally, these questions were a real eye opener for me.  I needed to reevaluate my goals as a mom, I decided to do this once I became pregnant with my third baby.

             Each time I learn something new, with my first I knew nothing and was overwhelmed with love and exhaustion.  The second taught me more patience than I knew I had, although I was exhausted I was also more aware of how to be a mom and what to expect.  I only hope to continue to learn with the next one.  God has a plan for me and my family, although initially I did not understand it, I know now that this is going to complete the family and journey and maybe; who knows another addition along the way.

            If you are going through something similar, I hope that you can ask yourself questions.  Be completely open and honest with yourself, that really helps us grow in so many ways.  Just always remember that we’re doing the best we can and we are not perfect.  I hope this post helps you like it helped me. 🙂

            Thanks for stopping by keep sharing my blog and stories so we can help mommies strive for success!

 

XOXO,

Reina