Dealing with separation anxiety can be tough. Check out a few tips to help you through it.

Every mom has to endure leaving her child at some point.  It’s a hard thing to deal with; from leaving them for a long period of time to constantly worrying about them, and wondering if they are bawling out of control.  I believe all of these feelings are completely normal when leaving your little one(s) behind.  However, taking a break or enjoying some R&R is definitely necessary to keep you sanity, but there are also other circumstances out of your control which will require you to leave your baby with a sitter or family member for the night or maybe longer.

            I left my son for the first time with really good friends of mine and my husbands’ when He was about 18 months old.  Initially when I walked out the door I could hear him crying, which made me feel worse for leaving him.  However, since he was born my husband and I had very little time for ourselves as a married couple, actually newlyweds because we had just married a few months before.  You need to make sure that you are comfortable with whom you are leaving your child(ren).  It’s important to feel secure in this type of situation, which is why I was able to leave him in the first place. 

            Since then I have not really left him other than for more than a few hours at a time However once I received news I was pregnant with my daughter I did have to leave him overnight.  This was hard because my son was only 2 and half when my daughter was born, it was a very difficult adjustment for me emotionally.  However, he was secure in the comfort of our own home which was perfect. 

            One thing I tried  to keep in mind is that no one will take care of my kids like I do.  I’m their mommy and I know what’s best for them.  When we leave them it’s important for us to have a clear mindset without feeling guilty.   I thought I’d share a few tips to handle separation anxiety without stressing out.

Gradually introduce your child to different environments and surroundings

            As a stay-at-home-mom, my son became so attached to me that it was a little ridiculous! LOL! I couldn’t even leave the room sometimes, forget leaving him with someone else.  Honestly the only person he did would stay with was my husband.  The first thing I started to do is dropping him off at the nursery in our church.  Although He cried of course I tried to introduce him to the teachers and surroundings by staying in the class with him a few times before leaving him on his own.  The teachers started to get to know him and vice versa that he just got used to the idea.  He even started to like it! The best thing about this is I felt safe and secure that my child was being cared for. 

Leave your guilty conscious behind

            We feel our children are going to hate us when we leave them, “why on earth did those horrible people leave me!!”  Well although that thought probably does cross their minds, it passes and they get over it.  When my son was little after his feeding, changing, and play time sometimes he would just be cranky.  I decided that I did not want him attached to my arms all the time.  So I would put him in his swing or crib and let him cry it out for a few minutes.  It hurt at first, but then it would pass and he would self soothe.  So leaving him with someone other than my husband or myself was difficult but sometimes it needed to be done.   

            One thing I always try to remember when I feel guilty or bad for leaving them, is that I need time alone or time with my husband.  My marriage is one of the most sacred and important things to me.  I feel lost without my partner.  Don’t get me wrong I love my kids, but it’s also super important to make time for both.  I think with a new baby it’s easy for your husband to feel neglected and distant so making time for them is truly necessary.  Just remember once you return to pick them up They will be so happy to see you and it will make it all worth it.

What to pack

            I tried to pack some of my son’s environment with him.  For example, I placed some of this favorite things in a backpack or diaper bag whichever you prefer.  This can be a stuffed animal, toy, bottle (pacifier), or DVD movie.  Basically anything to make your child’s stay a home away from home.  Always make sure to pack enough clothes, diapers, wipes, and additional things your child uses.  Be sure to include any medications this includes tylonol or motrin in case of fever, along with teething tablets just in case.  One of the most important things is the insurance information.  Always leave behind his insurance card and any other important documents. 

            These are just a few tips I have taken in the past with my own children.  Introducing your child to new people and surroundings is so important which is why it’s at the top of the list.  This helps them socially as well, something I had to learn later on which really affected my son.  If you have a family member, friend, or just someone you trust in general it definitely will put you at ease during the process.  I recently seen an ad called nanny finder.  I don’t know how comfortable I would feel using this type of site, especially for my children.  However, I am sure there are some people who find it useful.  I think that trust is the most important factor, at least it was for me. 

            I really hope that some of these tips are helpful to you if you are struggling with this issue.  With my son everything was so new to me, I was afraid to take a shower with the baby monitor on in case that I didn’t hear him, So I would take him the bathroom with me LOL! It was tough not knowing what to expect or being overly cautious.  I learned as time progressed and eventually as I had my second child.  I became laid back and was able to enjoy the process of leaving them behind.  But It takes time and ultimately you always think of them and wonder if they are safe and secure. 

            Thanks for stopping by! Keep sharing my blog with other mommies out there, so together we can strive for mommy success!  Remember I love feedback and comments so feel free to leave me as many as you see fit!

XOXO,

Reina