Deciding to become a parent and bringing up a child, is one of the biggest responsibilities that a person can have in this life. But other than what we have experienced as a child ourselves, we have not other training for it. So it is no surprise that many expectant parents or adoptive parents to be, feel anxious at the thought. It can be a very overwhelming process. Many of us might say that we will never do or say certain things that our parents may have done or said. Yet we often find that we are just doing those things that we had decided not to do. So I’m just going to explore different ways that we can provide the best start in life for them.
One way to stop us doing things that our parents did, is to be in open communication as parents, about disciplining your children and the standards that you expect from them. Even if you are no longer together as partners, you can still co-parent well with honest and open communication. You both need to be on the same page, so to speak, so that there is consistency for your child or children. Consistency can lead to feelings of security for our children. They know where they stand and what is expected of them.
As well as discipline, you need to think about fostering your child’s confidence, in order to give them the best start in their life. The words that we use can have a massive effect on our children, even from a young age. They hear and understand more than they can say to start with, and things will stay with them. If you are regularly angry and use cruel words, they will think it is because of them. This can change how they view themselves, as well as their self-esteem and self-confidence. Why would they want to be confident in themselves if their parents, the ones that are meant to love them unconditionally, don’t show their love to them? Likewise, our tone of voice and body language can have an effect too. So we need to think about how we present ourselves when we speak to our children. They imitate a lot of things that we do. If we don’t want them to speak unkindly to others, then we need to lead by example.
Physically, we need to be able to provide for our children in order to give them the best start in life. Somewhere safe to live with food and clothing are the basics. Some parents might like to splash out on lots of toys and gadgets for their children. Others might prefer to get their kids kitted out in the latest Versace baby clothing, for example. What we do over and above the basics is up to us personally. If you can afford to do those things, then it is your choice.
Most important of all it is important to make sure that we show our children how much they are loved. Love is often spelled out as time. Our children will know that we love them when we take the time to care for them, spend time with them and enjoy being around them.