As a parent, naturally you never want to hear something is wrong with your child.  The first thing that comes to my mind is, “how do I fix it”?

How can I be a better parent, and did I cause this? It’s something that plays over and over again in my mind.

From Preschool to kindergarten, things took a turn for the worst.  His Teachers noticed some things about Isaac that concerned them and me. So I decided to bring it to his pediatrician’s attention.  He, also just as concerned as I was. 

The initial diagnosis was just the ADHD, but as time progressed things worsened for him at school.

 

Part of me always knew something was a little off with him.  Both socially and behaviorally.  It was hard for me to admit it or seek help, because I was waiting for him to “outgrow” it like most people suggested would happen.  He always had a lot of energy and we always thought, “He’s just a boy”. 

So I had him retested and then he was officially dual diagnosed with ADHD and high functioning autism. 

And now it’s me, Plus three, and ADHD (with some high functioning autism).

 

Initially  I felt a little sad.  I started thinking about how this would affect him in the future.  But then I started to become more knowledgeable on the subject of Autism and realized he would be just fine. Then my attitude changed.  I didn’t want my feelings to cripple him from doing things, I want him to know at least from me that he is amazing and special no matter what.   This is something that sets him  apart  from everyone else, and that God made him so unique and we’re ready to take it on.  One of my promises to him is to support him through everything and encourage him to be and do his best. I believe in him.

I am not posting this for sympathy. I want to raise awareness on the issue of  ADHD because many people have misconceptions of what it is. Having a child with ADHD can be challenging at times.  But it’s manageable, it takes a lot of support and communication with your spouse, doctors, and teachers.  I have seen first hand that it is REAL it’s not made up or a discipline problem.   I want to share with other moms that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  There is hope and help available for your every need. 

Here’s what we’re working on now and some tips to help your child at home.  It’s challenging at times and takes a lot of consistency.

 

• Find out how he learns:

This is one of the most important ones to understand.  Homework can be a battle with ADHD, the lack of attention to detail and focus can be tough for your child to sit still for a long period of time.  My son, works well when he is motivated to do so.  If he feels like there is a reward at the end of his homework, he does well.  I have to use charts, stickers, and anything else that interests him.  This is a great way to encourage them to do their work. Because he is unable to work independently, I have to make sure I sit with him to do his work.  I make time to do this when my youngest is napping.

• Set a schedule:

There is a routine for everything we do, from the time we wake up till he comes home from school. Some days are busier than others due to different therapies he has.  But overall the scheduling works.  I use a calendar (Yes I am old fashioned) and I have events and important dates listed there, I do also input them in my phone as reminders.  It’s helpful for my husband and I to stay on the same page with his busy schedule at work. 

• Make a reward system:

  

  rewards system to track daily behavior

Everything has to be acknowledged with my son.  From washing his hands to putting his clothes away.  I have to recognize when he is doing good behavior and the behavior eventually sticks.  School is a little more complicated but I’ll get on that on another post. Everything is going to start at home.  You can control his environment better when he is home.  School and home are separate entities in my opinion.

• Ask for help and understand resources available to you:

Isaac currently attends speech therapy, occupational therapy, and soon to be started Applied Behavioral therapy.  Our weeks are busy, but every therapy is good and provides something different for him. Once you speak with the school regarding the issues, you can potentially have additional services provided by the school district.  I am currently in the IEP (Individual educational plan) process so there will be another post on that to follow.  I just want you to know that help is out there, you just have to push a little harder for it sometimes.

• Parent support:

Attending a parent support group is so crucial for you and your child’s success.  I cannot even stress this enough! Asking for help is hard to do sometimes, but we need it.  We need to remember that we as parents are still human and make mistakes like anyone else.  The additional support helps to talk about the situation out loud with someone who is non biased, to get advice and ask questions.  It’s amazing and I think everyone should think about joining.  Technology is so awesome that now you can find groups of support online. 

I understand that every child is different so what works for my child may not work for yours.  I’d love to hear from you if you try something different.  I am always looking for new ways to learn and grow.  As I feel this is all a learning process, and every day my son teaches me something new. 

Maybe some of you are asking, “why isn’t she just medicating, it will make life easier” That will be on another post.  It’s a long story as to why my husband and I declined meds. 

 

Stay tuned because I know that there is more to this journey.  I want to share it with you all, and help anyone who needs it to the best of my ability and I’m also willing to take help or advice, as all of this is so new to me. 

Raising my three kids is no walk in the park, but I know every day is a blessing and gift from above. Thanks for sharing this with me, and also be sure to continue to share my posts and site with other moms.

Blessings,

Reina