Most moms will agree that whilst raising children is the most special time of life it can also be the most demanding. Nurturing young children and watching them flourish into young adults is certainly the most rewarding of journeys however it can also take its tolls on moms. It is no secret that whilst mums are dedicated to their families and offer love and support in all necessary forms, there are many moments where moms can suffer from exhaustion, frustration and sometimes sadness. This is not something that is talked about enough sometimes between mothers, with the pressure being that we all have to balance the demands of being a mom with a big smile on our faces, seemingly always coping with the stresses and strains that it entails.
Of course children bring happiness, but the process of raising a family can have its emotional challenges too. Therefore today we want to talk about the small, but important things that we can do to deal with the stresses that come with the challenge of raising a family, in order to be the happiest versions of ourselves, for our families and for ourselves.
Ask For Help
This is something that we all struggle to do. Asking for help can sometimes feel like a weakness, almost as if it is a sign that we are not quite coping with the daily demands of looking after our children. However trying to do it all, is one sure fire way of burning ourselves out and there is no shame in reaching out to those around you for support and help. Whether that comes in the form of grandparents pitching in to help with that birthday party. Car pooling with other parents of your childrens schools, asking partners to be more involved in weekly chores or even getting the children to dig in more when it comes to the regular things that need to get down. Whatever it is, using those around you to help balance out all the many, many things that you need to get done will help make you feel much calmer and happier through the warmth of the support that you receive.
It’s OK To Be Stressed
This is an issue for some moms. To admit that you are stressed, can feel like waving a white flag that says ‘I’m not coping’. This however again is an unrealistic level of pressure that we put on ourselves to try and make it look like we find it all easy and everything is going swimmingly. We all have moments of feeling overwhelmed and that is completely natural. We need to be more open about it and talk to those around us in order to release pent up stress and to try and feel less irritable. We all know that talking through our emotions is sometimes all that is necessary in order to feel better. Having a good vent and not worrying about perception in an important way to take the pressure off and move forwards feeling lighter and in a better mood.
Go Back to Work
One of the best things that we can do to invest in our own happiness is to do something that will make us happy. Sometimes that is going back to work. Whether you crave social interaction with other adults, or whether you are looking for mental stimulation or perhaps you just want to feel empowered from having a different purpose in life. Whatever your reason, going back to work can be a fantastic way of focusing on yourself outside of the family dynamic.
Perhaps you previously worked in an industry that inspired you and you want to start getting the feelers out to re enter that sector. Or perhaps you fancy trying something completely different and want to train for a different career. Go online and check out the variety of courses available for different sectors. You may be pleasantly surprised by the diversity of courses and training programmes and how flexible they can be to revolve around your routine. Perhaps you might fancy looking into something like online clinical social work programs to get into the care sector or maybe you would like to attend a college that specialises in a specific area of business. Whatever you decide you will certainly not be without a wide range of options that will help and guide you back into your working life.
Sleep, Glorious Sleep
One sure fire way that we are not going to feel our best is by not getting enough sleep. Sleep deprivation is one of the biggest contributing factors to depression, anxiety and feelings of hopelessness. Therefore one of the kindest things that you can do for yourself is to make a good night’s sleep a priority. If we are tired we are less likely to want to do little things with our children or to do those important tasks that need ticking off our ‘to-do’ lists. When things start to slip, we then start to feel like we are failing or that somehow we are not doing well enough. That kind of anxiety keeps us awake at night. That then turns into a vicious circle, which could all be avoided by just prioritising getting enough decent shut-eye on a regular basis.
One way that you can ensure that you are feeling more positive is by reconsidering your priorities. Maybe you are not happy with the dynamics of your day to day life and you feel like you either spend most of your time in the supermarket or ferrying the children around. If that is the case then perhaps it is time to start mixing things up in a different way and planning your weekly routine from a different perspective.
Of course certain things need to be done, but perhaps there are different ways of going about them that will save you time or perhaps you are making hard work for yourself feeling that you need to do everything yourself. Perhaps you can pay someone, a couple of hours a week, to help you to get the house straight, so that you can have an afternoon or two to yourself. Perhaps instead of spending sunday nights getting through the mountain of ironing, you can delegate it to a professional service company so that your sunday evenings are freed up to spend with your family.
Whatever it is re prioritising is a great way to remind yourself of what is really important and also to remind yourself of your strengths and why you are doing such a great job of looking after your family.
Enjoy the Moment
We all hear the statement ‘Live in The Moment’ and often it is easier said than done. However as our children grow up so fast, there is never a more important time to live by this philosophy than when watching our children grow and develop. Therefore taking the time to just stand back and enjoy everything that you have and the family that you have around you is absolutely one of the most important ways that we can do to invest in our happiness.
Whilst we all know that it can be really hard, to always be worrying about everyone else and to be prioritising our children’s needs over our own, we must all ensure that we don’t forget ourselves in the process. That we find lovely things that we can do for ourselves in order to stay happy, to feel positive and in order to be able to enjoy this crazy and wonderful journey of being a mom.