Category Archives: parenting

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Divorce is such a horrible thing, but it happens. You never planned for it, but it happens. For whatever reason, it has happened. It comes with stresses, worries, hurt, love, anxieties and pain. But the hardest thing about divorcing the person you once loved is protecting your children. They are your every thought, that piece of you that you will do anything to protect. Of course, it is worth noting that a lot of children cope with divorce fantastically, and come out unharmed and unaffected.

But not all of them, which is why you will need to do everything you can to ensure they are as protected from the effects of your divorce as best as you possibly can. That is where we come in. We have gathered as much market research as possible, including advice from experts and divorcees, to ensure that your children remain the priority through this incredibly tough time.

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Set The Priority Straight
Your marriage may have broken down, but you still share your children, and that you always will. You are both going to be responsible for raising them to be incredible adults. As such, you need to reaffirm with the other parent that your children’s emotional health is at the very top of the priority list. Whatever happens, you will protect them from harm and hurt. That is your duty as responsible parents, and that chat needs to happen from the outset.

No Fighting
Emotions will be high, and often uncontrollable. They will flare at times and you will get under each other’s skin. But try and control your emotions as much as possible, because the more control you have the easier it will be to remain calm and not fight. This is going to be in your child’s best interests. To help you, we suggest you hire an attorney who is experienced in this area of law, such as Barton Wood. It is also wise to seek mediation, and perhaps go to counseling together. The sooner you can tolerate each other, the better it will be for your child. Sometimes working things out can be more difficult than expected, and you may not be able to find a way to work through it.  Counseling is an ideal before taking the plunge toward divorce, here is a helpful link on how counseling can be beneficial in your marriage https://www.regain.us/advice/therapist/couples-therapy-cost-is-it-worth-it/

Be Role Models
You are both role models for your child. You are the biggest influences on their lives. You will want to show them how to be mature, how to act when the going gets tough, how to approach undesirable situations and how to show strength. Remember, showing strength doesn’t have to be pushing. It can be in accepting the other person’s opinion too.
Be Involved
A parent needs both parents. They deserve it too. So no matter how much you may despise each other, you cannot let your child suffer because of your pride. By both having an involvement you drastically reduce the chances that your child will grow up with emotional health problems. There is no point telling yourself that you would make a great single parent because it is irrelevant. What you should be telling yourself is that your child needs both parents in their life. It takes bravery to do that, but being a good parent is all about being brave.

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When you look at jobs we have done through time, we seem to have cornered the market in most of them. We’ve always had builders, but the palatial homes we can build now make old mud huts look like a joke. There have been doctors for centuries – but we know better than to practice blood-letting for any old ailment these days.

If there is one calling in life that seems to have stayed as hard as ever – and even got tougher – it’s that of a parent, and especially a mother. Yes, Stone Age parents had to worry about a saber-toothed tiger carrying off their little ones. They didn’t have to read countless articles reminding them about that risk.

And yes, we don’t have to worry about saber-toothed tigers anymore. So in many ways parenting has become easier. It’s just that in many others, it’s become more difficult. So how do you cope?

Relax. There is a way to make parenting less stressful without inventing a time machine. It takes a bit of hard work, but it’s worth it. And it’s not some kind of life-hack trick that you’re not going to be able to pull off; it’s time-tested. Quite simply, it’s called drawing on the experience of mothers since the dawn of time.

“Oh. That’s Disappointing.”

Look, in parenthood, there are no shortcuts. Consider that a relief. If there were ways to make parenting stress-free, they would probably create awful parents. The reason that some people become such great parents is that they realize the stakes involved. You’re responsible for at least one little life, and maybe more.

Guess what? You’re going to make mistakes. That line about learning from your mistakes is true – if you don’t make them here and there, the fallout when you do can be immense. Now, guess who else has made mistakes? If you guessed “every parent everywhere, since the dawn of time,” congratulations! You win an invaluable trove of parenting advice.

“That’s A Lot Of Information To Trawl Through…”

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It is, yes. The good news is, it’s largely searchable wherever you find it. When you find yourself newly pregnant, you’ll soon notice that people are full of advice. Some of it will be excellent and useful to you. Some of it, not so much.

When it comes to unsolicited advice, a good rule to follow is to listen to the information coming from people who really know you. There is no one correct way to do pretty much anything as a parent. Advice coming from someone who has brought up a few kids, but doesn’t know you beyond the fact that they know you’re pregnant? Maybe it will be useful – but there’s a good chance it’s not.

Your own mother will have plenty of advice and, as she knows you, she is worth listening to. You’ve turned out pretty well, after all. Close friends and family are also unlikely to give you advice that doesn’t mesh with your personality.

People who do not know you, however, are always liable to give you advice that worked for them. The only problem with that is, you aren’t them. Listen to them by all means – but filter their advice through the knowledge that your situation is not always going to be like theirs.
Caught In The Web: How Useful Is Online Parenting Advice?

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The internet is full of advice on just about everything you’re ever going to do. Behind healthy eating, parenting is towards the top of that list in terms of volume of information. You can probably see where this is going, can’t you?

There is a marked difference between “lots of information” and “lots of useful information.” For everything wonderful the internet has handed us, strict quality control is not its strong point. Some sources, like the Tummy2mummy website and similar, will have reliable and useful advice for you.

Other sites may not be so useful. Think about what you want your experience to be like and judge whether each site is for you. Remember that there are cases where people offer advice according to an agenda. In some cases this can be quite extreme – it’s not unheard of to see blogs advising you to “ignore what your doctor tells you.” Don’t ignore what your doctor tells you.

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Unfortunately, you don’t just have a baby one day and become an amazing parent. Sure, you have those natural instincts that make you love and protect your baby with every ounce of your being, but that doesn’t mean you automatically know what to do to care for them and get their care off to the right foot. Here’s how you can start your parenting journey off right:

Practice With A Pet
If you’re planning on having a baby soon, it’s probably best to wait until you have a pet. You need to make sure that the pet you get is compatiable with kids, so it depends on their breed and how they are socialized around children. However, if you’re going to wait years before you have a baby, a pet could help you get used to having more responsibility. Something to care for other than yourself!

Make Your Home Suitable For A Baby
If you’re currently trying or pregnant, then you need to make your home suitable for a baby. Although your baby won’t be able to move around much by themselves at first, it doesn’t mean you should risk having an unsafe home. You should babyproof your house well in advance, install stairgates, and anything else that will make your home ideal for a young life.

Find The Perfect Family Car
Some cars are suitable for families, others not so much. The right family car will be super safe and have plenty of room for strollers, shopping, and more.

Make Sure The Car is Well Equipped
The car should be well equipped with a safe car seat – check out the infographic below to help you.

By https://babyseats.reviews

It’s happened … and it’s here sooner than you think. No longer is your baby your baby, but they’re now a mini-adult and demanding a redecorate of their bedroom to establish themselves as such. Of course, you know it will only be to show off to their friends and give them a sense of confidence that they’re a lot older than they actually are, but you’ve got to admit it’s kinda cute and also a tad sad at the same time.

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Where to begin?

Firstly, establish what they want from their new bedroom – and what you want from it too. Put some ground rules in place. At the end of the day, it is your house and they are merely lodgers (at least think about it this way while you’re getting through the throws of the Big Redesign). See if both of your ideas match about how far you’re going with it; is it just a fresh coat of paint on the walls, or a turnover of the whole room? Are they really outgrowing their bed, or is it an excuse to get a new one? Chances are that they’re actually in need of a new bed – or at the very least a new mattress. The recommended age for most mattresses is eight years, and after that it’s time to buy new for the good of your health. This is one thing that you can take control over, and search online for reviews at sites like https://www.mattress-guides.net/top-premium-mattresses-chronic-lower-back-pain/ to check out what you can do to provide the best possible sleep for your child. But know when to stop and say no at suggestions that you think are going over the top and being taken too far.

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Embrace their creative side

You may find that your child knows more about kids’ bedrooms than you do – after all, they’ve probably spent more time in one nowadays visiting their friends than you have. They will have picked up on tips and tricks themselves that they may want to incorporate into their new room; some of these may be hacks that other mums have discovered on pinterest or made up themselves, and transferring such knowledge over will save you a search online. Ask them what they want to see in their room, where they want things to go and what else they want to include to help decorate the space. Don’t ask them to stick to a theme – children have so many themes running around their heads that it’s a wonder WordPress haven’t got shares in them. It’ll be all or nothing, and if you stick to something that they’re in a phase with at the moment, chances are that in 6 months they won’t be anymore.

Remind them…It’s always good to remind them that you’re not a never-ending money pit and try and get them to stick to a budget. That way they’re learning these skills early and are seeing how to make the most of what they have got to work with.

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Mom’s have a lot to do. It’s a scientific fact of life. Well, maybe not scientific but it is a fact. Whether you’re a mom that stays at home with the children, or one that balances work alongside housework, you’ve got a lot to do. Because of this, there is a lot of stigma surrounding which one is harder: a working mom, or a stay at home mom. The honest answer to this question is neither. Neither of these ‘titles’ is hard than the other.

A mother who stays at home has the housework to do as well as entertaining a baby/toddler/child delete as appropriate. They have errands to run, shopping to do, outdoor work to do. Most mothers who stay at home are rushed off their feet with school pick-ups, after school clubs and being a referee in toddler tantrums. The mother who works away from the home must go out to earn money while battling the guilt of not being at home with her babies. It’s exhausting; being a mother. You’re a person but the ‘you’ that you are comes last after ‘mom’, ‘wife’, ‘housekeeper’ and juggling all those labels is not easy. You still need time for you and to do things you love, but the unfortunate thing is that a day only has 24 hours within it. Sometimes, mom’s need a little help.

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No one likes to admit it. Today, with the boom of social media and camera phones, we must project a life of holding things together and being a swan: beautiful and smooth. But the thing with swans, is that they paddle frantically under the surface of the water just to stay afloat. Much like mums do. Hiring in someone to help with the gardening is not going to make you less of a housewife. Having someone visit once a week from Domestic One isn’t going to label you as incapable of taking care of your home. Once you have a family, the plates start to spin and to keep them spinning, you occasionally need someone by your side to help. That’s not shameful, that’s good sense!

By allowing yourself some help, not only will you be able to catch up a little on other areas of life that may be lacking, you’ll be able to take some time just with the kids or for yourself and not have to think about the fact that there are skirting boards to clean or an oven to scrub. It also means that you can catch up on yourself and not feel so unbalanced. Life doesn’t have to feel like it’s full of routine or stuck in a rut if you are allowing yourself time. Time to be a human and not a donkey. Time to be a person and not Cinderella. Time with the kids to play and laugh and go on mini dates to see a movie.

It’s easy to lose yourself in being a mom, and that can come with many consequences in your marriage or relationship.  sometimes being a mom you can lose track of these things and in order to help your relationship, you could use some help.  Here are some helpful tools to guide you toward the right path.  https://www.regain.us/advice/counseling/use-online-couples-counseling-to-get-your-relationship-back-on-track/

Life is not a chore, moms. But give yourself credit where credit is due and let yourself be happy.

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Most family homes run a tight ship. Everyone has their time in the bathroom, and time is short. Especially in the morning before the school run! When things go wrong, it can throw the whole routine. The clean up becomes a matter of urgency, and the sooner you can get your home back to normal, the better! Dealing with disruption isn’t something most of us like to consider. Even so, preparation will ensure you know what to do when disaster strikes! We’ve got some tips on how you and your family can deal with home disasters.

LEARN BASIC MAINTENANCE

You should be able to deal with core issues in the home by yourself. This isn’t always the case, and if you’re unsure, it’s best not to try! Even so, learning basic maintenance can ensure you take action if the problem is small. Sites like http://www.realsimple.com should help give you some general knowledge. Learn plumbing basics so that you can deal with blocked drains. Learn, too, where your fuse box is. Many times, if the power goes, it’ll be because a switch has tripped. Knowing these basics will save you time and money!

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HIRE A PROFESSIONAL

It’s important to accept that some problems aren’t so easy to fix. If you’re unsure about how to approach a problem, leave it alone. Trying to fix something that needs professional attention will lead to more damage. Not to mention that you’ll put yourself at risk by doing it! The good news is that most professionals, like https://www.benfranklinclt.com/, work on an emergency basis, 24 hours a day. Even if you need professional help, you shouldn’t be out of action for long. Take steps before the event by writing down numbers for emergency plumbers and electricians. That way, you won’t have to worry about finding them when you’re in a panic. Save these numbers into your phone, or write down an emergency list and put it somewhere you can see. The faster you can access these, the better. Remember, every second is crucial when you’re talking about a tight ship like yours!

MAKE ALTERNATIVE ARRANGEMENTS

A professional will be able to tell you how long your problem will take to fix. If you’re going to be out of electricity for a few days, make alternative arrangements. If your bathroom is going to be out of action, you and your family will need to go elsewhere. You can’t send the children to school without washing! Plus, you’ll need to wash, yourself! If you’re lucky, you’ll know someone who can take you in for a few days. If not, you could book into a hotel for a few nights. You may want to do everything possible to stay in your house, but you need to think of your children here. Don’t make them suffer because of your reluctance to stay away. You’ll be able to return to the house whenever you need, so don’t worry about taking too much with you. Just take the basics and get going!

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Your children’s bedrooms should be a haven, where they can escape, relax, and play with no danger at all. But plenty of hazards exist in bedrooms, and it takes a pretty keen eye to know what they are. In today’s guide, I’m going to reveal some of the unexpected dangers that lurk in every child’s bedroom – and how to ensure their safety at all times. Read on to find out more!

Paint fumes

Try to avoid using regular paint that you buy from your local DIY shop. These types of paint are chock-full of volatile organic compounds – or VOCs – that can be toxic to humans and evaporate from the paint ver time. It means you could be exposing your kids to nasty fumes, for years after you first apply it. The solution? Always choose low-VOC paint when undergoing any decorating – not just in your child’s room, but all over the house, too.

Shelves and drawers

Big chests of drawers are an essential for clothes storage, of course. But how safe are they? Make sure you are anchoring your units to the wall, particularly for tall chests or drawer stacks. If they get a little top-heavy, they can quickly fall on top of a small child and cause serious injury. Strengthen your drawers, too – stainless steel drawer slides are ideal. Youngsters love to play mom and are always stuffing things in drawers, and they need to be able to take heavy loads.

Window catches

If your kids sleep on the first floor or higher, make sure you have safety latches on your window. Children can be inquisitive and fearless, which isn’t a great combination when they are looking out of a wide open window. A safety latch will prevent them from getting out and trying something stupid.

Removable lids for storage

Toy chests and storage with heavy lids are a big no-no for children – especially toddlers and youngsters. If you have them, consider taking off the hinges – safely, of course – so the lids won’t slam down and crush or break little fingers.

Low-temperature night lights

Many young children don’t like the dark – but be careful about the type of nightlight you use in their rooms. Certain models can generate a lot of heat and will burn their little fingers if they decide to explore their lights. Only choose low-temperature lights which stay cool to the touch if you want to avoid a stressful and distressing trip to A&E.

Socket blockers

Make sure you invest in electrical outlet covers, to prevent inquisitive little fingers getting a nasty shock. Any plug socket that isn’t in use should have a cover – without exception. Accidents are so easy to happen if you don’t have that protection in place.

Start chores at an early age

Finally, get your children used to tidying their rooms as soon as possible. Slips, trips, and falls are the most common accident in households over the country. Your child’s chances of joining this statistic will increase if they don’t learn how to keep clutter to a minimum. As we all know, even the smallest piece of LEGO can cause an enormous amount of pain if you step on it barefoot!

Deciding to become a parent and bringing up a child, is one of the biggest responsibilities that a person can have in this life. But other than what we have experienced as a child ourselves, we have not other training for it. So it is no surprise that many expectant parents or adoptive parents to be, feel anxious at the thought. It can be a very overwhelming process. Many of us might say that we will never do or say certain things that our parents may have done or said. Yet we often find that we are just doing those things that we had decided not to do. So I’m just going to explore different ways that we can provide the best start in life for them.

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One way to stop us doing things that our parents did, is to be in open communication as parents, about disciplining your children and the standards that you expect from them. Even if you are no longer together as partners, you can still co-parent well with honest and open communication. You both need to be on the same page, so to speak, so that there is consistency for your child or children. Consistency can lead to feelings of security for our children. They know where they stand and what is expected of them.

As well as discipline, you need to think about fostering your child’s confidence, in order to give them the best start in their life. The words that we use can have a massive effect on our children, even from a young age. They hear and understand more than they can say to start with, and things will stay with them. If you are regularly angry and use cruel words, they will think it is because of them. This can change how they view themselves, as well as their self-esteem and self-confidence. Why would they want to be confident in themselves if their parents, the ones that are meant to love them unconditionally, don’t show their love to them? Likewise, our tone of voice and body language can have an effect too. So we need to think about how we present ourselves when we speak to our children. They imitate a lot of things that we do. If we don’t want them to speak unkindly to others, then we need to lead by example.

Physically, we need to be able to provide for our children in order to give them the best start in life. Somewhere safe to live with food and clothing are the basics. Some parents might like to splash out on lots of toys and gadgets for their children. Others might prefer to get their kids kitted out in the latest Versace baby clothing, for example. What we do over and above the basics is up to us personally. If you can afford to do those things, then it is your choice.
Most important of all it is important to make sure that we show our children how much they are loved. Love is often spelled out as time. Our children will know that we love them when we take the time to care for them, spend time with them and enjoy being around them.

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There’s one stage that a lot of parents dread more than any other. Yes, more than nappies, more than weaning, more than potty training! The thing that every parent hopes to keep away for as long as possible is, of course, the teen years. Sadly there’s nothing you can do; your child is going to turn into a teenager eventually! When people think about raising a teenager, their minds are inevitably filled with images of rebellion, angst, arguments, and attitude. And the first thing that you need to come to terms with is that you probably have all of those things in store for you. The only thing that you can do is to decide how you’re going to deal with those things when they happen. Your not-so-little one is going through a lot of changes, and you need to be able to help them walk that adolescent tightrope as best you can. So here are some things that you can do to help support your teenager without losing all control.

Don’t think you can parent in the same way anymore

Your son or daughter is changing. Sometimes they change so much that they’re practically unrecognizable from even a year or two ago. But this doesn’t just apply to them physically. The way that they see the world and how they feel about it are all going to undergo some serious radical changes. They’re going to start questioning things more. Wondering why things are the way they are. They’re going to want more independence, and they’re going to start feeling more like an adult. All of this means that if you keep trying to parent them in the same way that you did when they were younger, they’re going to find it frustrating and stifling. You’re going to end up getting frustrated at their lack of responsiveness to what you’re saying. You need to come to terms with the fact that it’s time to stop treating your children like… well, like children! Try to understand them on their own terms. It might be time to start giving them a little extra trust and freedom. If you try to keep them under your wing, then they’re going to end up feeling resentful and are more likely to try and rebel.

Have the difficult conversations.

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A lot of the changes that your child is going through are going to be extremely strange and scary to them. As they go through puberty, they’re going to come up against a lot of things that they’ve never even thought about before. They’re going to start having to consider what it means to be an adult and all the responsibilities that come with that. They’re going to need someone to guide them through and support them as they face these hurdles. That’s where you come in. You should always make sure that your children know that they can always come to you with any issue. One of the biggest worries that parents of teenagers have is when they start to become interested in other people romantically. This is pretty inevitable and something you’re probably just going to have to come to terms with, as difficult as that can be. The most important thing is that you show them as much support as possible. Without that then there’s a much greater chance that they’ll make bad decisions. It’s your job to offer them guidance and help them make good choices. This applies to things like drugs, alcohol, and safe-sex. Make sure that they’re always safe; you can even order the contraceptive pill online if they are worried about going to a doctor for it. You might not like it, but there is always the chance they’ll be exposed to those things, and you just need to make sure that they’re informed.

Trust them

With all of the adult things that your kids will end up being exposed to this can be really difficult. But here’s the truth: your kids are going to make mistakes. They are going to do things that you don’t necessarily want them to. But the important thing for you is to make sure that you’re always there for them no matter what. Putting your faith in them to make the right decisions is a really important step towards them becoming happy, independent adults. If you’ve done your job right then they’ll be able to come out of their teen years well adjusted and grateful for your love and care.